Her

I find myself thinking of her
The little things no one seems to notice
Those little things, are the biggest things to me
Sometimes I wish I could just tell her
But I won't know her reaction

She's the most beautiful girl
She has the most beautiful laugh
The dimples on her cheeks are amazing, especially when I'm the one making them show up
The way she laughs is the best in the world, and so distinguishing

She's like a delicate little flower
Take care of, be patient, and progress through life
Then she'll be the most beautiful daisy in the prairie
In your eyes and others

I go over my problems and they seem to worsen
Yet I still remain here, and think of her
She gets me through the day
And makes me look forward to spending the day with her

She's absolutely amazing in every way
I look deep into her eyes and I can see everything
Yet see nothing at the same time
They're very mysterious, yet elegant

And yet again, I find myself thinking of her
Wishing I could be by her side at this moment
Holding her hand and starring deep into her eyes
Into those brown pools of nature and lustrous beauty
If only we were compatible, then we could be the last two leaves hanging on the tree in fall


 

Reviews

[ruth]

i love this poem. it flowed smoothly and your love towards her is immense, just by the words you used in order to describe her. its lovely, and my favorite part is "The dimples on her cheeks are amazing, especially when I'm the one making them show up". and i guess when someone is in love, they do notice even the slightest things or changes in a person..
-ruth

[zer0]

A decent poem.


You characterize "her" quite well.

Your language use is simple and to the point which works well in this piece.

The tone is consistent right through and works well to depict the level infatuation/love you have for "her".

There are few aspects that could be improved though:

Firstly the inconsistent line lengths make the rhythm a little jarring at points.

Also I can't help but feel this poem is too long. I think that if you condensed some of the sentiments you convey down into fewer lines it would make the piece all the more potent

Never the less, good work.