Unwell

I wish I could say it was just a sickness, 

Some demon inside me that, without a witness,

could creep to my heart and squeeze in it's claws, 

find the dark parts of my soul and open the doors.

It wouldn't me be; this disease would take charge, 

I'd be trapped in my head whilst this evils at large, 

It would posture and act and then strike a pose, 

playing the part so well that nobody knows..

They might not notice, they may not even care, 

It's not me that they're seeing, I'm not even there.

I'm trapped somewhere else, and now things will turn,

all the work that I've put in, the creature would burn.

The friends that I cling to would soon turn their backs, 

the bright smiling faces would all fade to black, 

my heart would be shattered and smashed on the floor, 

and meanwhile this sickness is just craving more. 

"Destroy it!" It roars "Burn it all to the ground!

we'll use the ashes for the fools burial mound

when we're finished and done, you'll be left all alone, 

and no one will consider the fault wasn't your own"

I wish I could say that this was all just a sickness, 

A monster had become me, with unstoppable quickness,

He'd burnt all my bridges, and ruined my life, 

These actions were his, the pain and the strife!

I wish I could blame this on some evil disease, 

Maybe the devil came in. blown in with the breeze, 

Got into my soul and made me into this beast, 

and feeding on tragedy creating a feast. 

But the truth as we know, the truth that I'm stuck with, 

Is this monstrous demon, this beast not to f**k with, 

this breaker of bonds, the evil inside, 

is just the real me, the one that I hide.