Can You See Me?

Can you see me?

You tell me constantly,

I tell you my secrets,

You disregard them,

Tell them to him,

That unknown foe,

Your one and only love,

That is as lost as you .

 

Can you see me?

My problems are lost in yours,

How can I help you?

You won’t listen to me,

A bite, just one, just one please!

Take a bite for me,

Eat something, eat anything,

But you won’t. You refuse.

 

Can you see me?

Please someone help me,

But they all see you instead,

I should be glad they are helping you,

That they grip your hand,

And I push you up out of the water,

You are dragged onto the shore,

While I am left to drown.

 

Can anyone see me?

They crowd around you,

You are safe finally,

I call out now for them,

Water fills my mouth,

But they walk away with you,

Don’t look back,

You don’t look back.

 

Nobody saw me,

I sink under the waves,

I should be glad they helped you,

You are safe now,

Peace should fill my heart,

But tears pool in my eyes,

You never come back,

I drown there alone,

Lost in my tears.

Alone.

Reviews

[Forlorn princess]

Hey! A touching portrait of real raw feelings. Amazingly drawn.. Thank you! :)

[D Kamdar]

Yes, I can see you, not as you but as a beautiful poet. Keep writing:) btw I've tried a non rhyming one. Would appreciate your feedback

[Aarea]

Yay for non-rhyming! I will go check it out right now. Thanks for reviewing! :)

[Aphy!]

Really amazing. Brilliant would be an understatement. It spoke volumes to me and opened not only my eyes about a lot of things but also my heart and for that I'm grateful. It was really breathtakingly flawless and the flow was just as amazing.
Loved your wordplay and how u used metaphors to describe such an amazing story through great poetry and skill.
Truly a deep and well thought-out poem hey
Well done and thanx for sharing

Aphy

[Michael (Letters and Li..]

Wow, Aarea! This is a brilliant piece of writing right here! There is so much tension and conflict between the different emotions that the speaker is feeling and you've presented that struggle exceptionally well. You can almost feel the torment and guilt that the speaker has in feeling what they are feeling. And that is not easy to do but you've done it so eloquently.

I also love the whole metaphor you used to run throughout the whole piece. It really brought it together very nicely. This poem is so deep. There's so many layers here and it's going to take a few reads to really explore it, but believe me, the way this is written makes me want to read it again and again. I love writing that springs something new every time you read it and that's exactly what you have here, Aarea. This is amazing. Thank you for sharing.

[Aarea]

Thank you so much for your wonderful review Michael! I am glad you liked it. :)

[Quill]

wow, it's a pretty sad ending now that i see it

[Aarea]

Thank you for reviewing! :)