That Road

That road!

Abandoned and haunted, such a place!

Wed to the robbers and highwayman,

Deserted by the noblemen's fair daughters,

A road.

A road,

Forgotten by many, 

Feared by some,

Others watch and wait,

Blood-stained feet trodding,

The road.

The road,

Overgrown green adorning,

Darkened, dead branches reaching,

Withered fingers catching carriages,

On the road.

On the road,

A fired weapon decorates the ground,

Full on the flesh of the unwary,

The naive that fall, unknowing,

In the road.

In the road,

A sadness lingers,

An abandoned road cries,

For the deaths of the dead,

The fallen, the trapped,

By the road.

By the road, 

The words are writ in men's blood,

Slay no more! Leave me Be!

It is no fault of mine,

The villains dwelt here!

Loneliness is the road.

Loneliness is the road,

That path feared by men,

That way hated by daughters,

That abandoned pass, left alone for the sins of others,

That desperate road.

That road. 

Author's Note

Any reviews are very welcome! I am mostly concerned about the ending. Is it good enough, or should it seem more resolved? Any help would be appreciated!

Reviews

[DaughterNature]

This has a good idea and image behind it, but there is a little vagueness that is both pleasant and a bit confusing. I get that this is a road out in the middle of nowhere and that lots of bad things have happened, but you provide no specific story to help the reader share in the fear.

There are also some mechanical issues (I'll start from the top and work my way down). "Highwayman" and "Nobleman's" shouldn't be capitalized, and both should also be plural (unless you mean a specific highwayman and a specific noble) -- "highwaymen" and "noblemen's daughters." "Trod" is the past-tense of "tread," and "trodding" sounds funny here -- maybe "treading" instead? "For the deaths of the dead" is terribly redundant -- replace one of the "deads" with something else! "Leave me Be" should be "Leave me be!" "The villains dwelt here" is fine as it stands alone, but in the context of the previous line "That villains dwelt here" sounds better. In the last stanza, you say the road is feared by men and daughters -- that seems like an odd distinction, even if you did use "daughters" in the first stanza.

[Aarea]

Thank you! I will try to fix some of that!

[NiceTouch]

Very captivating poem! That road has seen much blood, gore and horror, but at the same time that road seems desirable. There's something alluring about the dangers that haunt the travelers of this road. It's almost as if the reader is forced to feel sorrow for the road, and all of its misfortunes. Great Job!

[Aarea]

Thanks NiceTouch!

[Michael (Letters and Li..]

Nice poem! I love the imagery in here. The repetition gives it power and a very nice flow. Well done! :)

[Aarea]

Thank you so much!!!