American Odyssey

Excerpt from my first published young adult novel.

Following is an excerpt from American Odyssey for those who might be interested in getting a taste of what the book has to offer.

 

Before I get to the excerpt, however, I feel it is only right to provide a little background information to set the stage, so to speak. The scene is a partial flashback from Chapter 3, which is titled "Blue." The scene is an interaction between the narrator, Hunter Leroux, 17, and his older brother, Eric, 19.

 

Prior to the point where you will come in, Hunter has had an argument with his mother following a fight at school with his hometown rival Reith Spencer, and a second fight between the two shortly after in the arcade room at the local bowling alley. During the argument, Hunter speaks disrespectfully of his deceased father and his mother slaps him across the face and tells him to get out.

 

Hunter leaves the house and finds a local drunk who he has buy him a 12-pack of beer. Hunter then heads to an abandoned apartment building where he and his brother and friends party from time-to-time. When he gets there, he begins drinking and feeling sorry for himself. His brother shows up a short time later to talk about what happened.

 

With that, I'll leave you to the reading of the excerpt. I welcome any feedback. Enjoy!

 

Excerpt from American Odyssey, Chapter 3 -- Blue (Copyright 2006):

I dropped on the couch, and began drinking one beer after another as I watched the sun go down, and the room darkened and started to get cold. I didn't bother to light any candles. Instead, I just sat there drinking, in the dim glow cast through the windows by the streetlights in the parking lot. I thought about all that had happened earlier – the fight at school, quitting the team, the fight at the bowling alley, Wade being arrested, Reith getting away with Billy's money, and the argument with my mother and her striking me. How could things have gotten so out of hand so quickly? I wondered, and cracked another beer. After a while, I thought I heard something in the hall, but wasn't sure and didn't check it out. I was feeling pretty buzzed and didn't want to bother getting up. Besides, I figured it was just a rat or a mouse or something like that. But I was wrong, and soon I wasn't alone anymore.

"I figured I'd find you here," Eric said, as he came into the room. "Mom told me something about what happened."

"Yeah, so? You gonna lay into me now, too?"

"No."

"Really? That's a surprise."

"Christ, you remember when we found this place?" he asked almost wistfully, ignoring my remark, as he closed the curtains and then lit a few candles. "What was it? Like a couple years ago?"

"Three."

"God, things were so much different back then." He took a seat in the recliner across from me. "Boy, you look awful," he said, eyeing my wounds.

"I feel awful," I said, my face and side still aching. I threw aside about my sixth empty beer can and grabbed a fresh one.

"Got one for me?"

"Help yourself."

"So, why don't you tell me what happened?" he asked, grabbing a beer. Then he lit up a cigarette and tossed me one.

As I told him, I thought about how Eric had grown to look like our father more and more over the years. He had short brown hair and brown eyes, a full face, a sturdy build and the same deep dimples as our father when he smiled. You could barely tell we were brothers as it was when we were younger. Now, you couldn't at all, with him leaning heavily towards our father in looks and me our mother. Not to mention, he had our father's hands, too. They were the sort of big, strong hands that you can just tell are made for doing hard work, or for fighting, and he had seen his share of fights just as I had, but not so much anymore. He was only nineteen, but his hands were older and growing older with every day he spent at the Tool & Die, becoming oil-stained and chaffed, just like our father's had been. And like our father, Eric had a knack for music. He'd bought a secondhand electric guitar a while back and had taught himself to play it quite well by then.

"Wow," he said, when I finished. "I hope you got Spencer as good as he got you."

"I think I got him worse."

He grinned, and then said seriously, "You know, Hunter, you're lucky you and Billy didn't get arrested, too."

"Luck didn't have anything to do with it," I said adamantly. "All Stone wanted was Wade in cuffs and he got that. That's all he ever wants. Nothing else makes any difference. It never does."

"Maybe not. But it's not like Wade's never been in trouble."

"No s**t. So that makes it right that Spencer and his buddies get off the hook for hassling Billy and taking his money and jumping me?"

 "No, I'm not saying it does. You know that."

"Then what the hell are you saying?"

"Look, all I'm saying is that at some point you gotta make a choice. You have to decide if you're going to waste the rest of your life screwing off and getting into trouble, or if you're going to do something more with it. No one can do that for you."

"Like you're not wasting yours?" I asked derisively.

"Hey, look. I know how you feel about my job. Okay? But at least I'm doing something to try and get my life on track. What the hell are you doing? I mean, Jesus, Hunter, look at yourself, will ya'? You're becoming more like Wade every day. Mom's right about that. It's like we don't even know you anymore, like we're losing you, and there's nothing we can do about it. And it's scaring the s**t out of me."

 "Well, maybe I don't want your help. Maybe I'm doing exactly what I need to be doing. You ever think of that?"

"You really believe that? I mean, s**t, yeah, I like to party and raise hell, too. Who doesn't? But you can't make that your life. And this bullshit with Reith? You gotta get past it sooner or later, Hunter. You just gotta, or it's going to eat you up inside. And if you let your hate for him ruin your life, then he's won. You don't want that to happen, do you?"

I grabbed another beer, not answering. I offered Eric another one, but he shook his head, held up a hand in refusal and continued.

"You know, Hunter, hating him and tangling with him isn't going to make things different. He's still going to be Reith Spencer. He's still going to be treated differently. It's not right, I know. But, that's just the way it is. You're not going to change that no matter what you do. You can only change things for yourself, and make your own life better."

"And what if I don't want to change? Then what?"

"Then you end up like Wade, spending the rest of your life in trouble and in and out of jail." He lit another cigarette. "Christ, you've gotta go to court over this s**t today, and you've never been in court before. Don't let it be the start of something, that's all I'm saying."

"Yeah, I gotta go to court, and that b*****d gets off. Real f*****g fair, isn't it? I just wish we could afford to take his a*s to court for what he did to Billy and me."

"I know. Me, too," he agreed, and then changed the subject. "Hey, what's this s**t about you quitting the team anyway?"

"I don't wanna talk about it," I said, folding my arms between drinks, trying to ward off the cold of the early April night as it penetrated the room.

"Alright, I won't push you." He backed off. "But I'll tell you something."

"What?" Like he hadn't told me enough already, I thought.

"Playing ball means something to you, just like your writing, right? And when something matters to you, you do what you have to, to hold onto it. Because if you don't, then you've got nothing left to keep you going. Think about that."

"You sound like Jimmy."

"Jimmy's a smart kid. You should listen to him," he said, as he stood up. "Look, I'm heading home. Why don't you come with me?"

"I'm not going back there. At least not tonight."

"Hey, Mom's sorry about what happened between the two of you. You should be, too. You should go home and apologize to her."

"Yeah, right," I scoffed. "She hit me, Eric." Those words nearly caught in my throat, and I could feel tears building and fought them back, hoping Eric didn't notice.

"I know. But sometimes parents do things when they're upset that they don't mean to."

"I'm not ready." And I wasn't. I was still too shook up, and the drinking wasn't helping all that much.

"Okay. You do whatever you think you need to. But if you're staying here tonight, you'll need this," he said. He took off his hooded sweatshirt and handed it to me.

"I'm alright," I said, trying to hand it back.

"Like hell you are. You're shivering. Take it."

"Thanks." I accepted and put it on.

"No problem." He started to leave, and then stopped in the doorway and turned to look at me. "You know I'm here if you need me, bro. Don't forget that." And then he was gone and I was alone, and was suddenly wishing I wasn't. I thought about going home but didn't, and I fell asleep a short time later.

I didn't see Wade again until he got out of jail early the next day and we began talking for the first time about getting out of town...

Reviews

[kim]

This is really really good. The dialogue is realistic, the scene setting done well. If I could suggest anything it would be try to find ways to eliminate so many "I' sentences. I write in first person too, and I understand how hard that is to do, but I am being a parrot and repeating from my editor :D

Thanks for sharing!!

[BMGelinas]

Independent reviews of the book can be found at:
http://www.bookpleasures.com/Lore2/idx/0/2826/article/American_Odyssey_.html
http://www.teensreadtoo.com/AmericanOdyssey.html