Hidden Bikini Bottom: Interview w/ Former CIA Agent Swee - Guy Who Found Bikini Bottom

Interview with a former CIA agent and YouTuber, Double Swee, the man who found Bikini Bottom and had the inside info before being sent away and covered up.

Swee welcomed us into his home while offering us food. Me and the crew however politely denied it as it was quite undercooked.

He walks over to the TV and turns on an episode of Spongebob - Livin' Like Larry - and turns the volume down to where it softly can be heard. Then he tells us the goods.

Interviewer: When did the government first discover Bikini Bottom?
Swee: It was the summer of '07. After sightings of a squirrel leaving the ocean at certain times of the year, they decided to investigate.
Interviewer: Sandy Cheeks?
Swee: You bet. AHAHAHA....
Interviewer: Are you okay?
Swee: Yeah.... anyways, they sent me in to investigate.

Swee: I remember taking a boat to the location after the other agents followed the squirrel. It was driven by some weird pirate guy with a purple jacket and green parrot.
Interviewer: Patchy?
Swee nods.

Swee: I dove down and the first thing I saw was some odd corals - MAAAH - but upon closer examination, I realized it was little buildings. I took down notes with underwater pen and paper and did sketches.

Interviewer: What about the Krusty Krab, Swee?
Swee's face darkens.
Swee: Hard times had hit, part of the town had been facing coral bleaching. Old Krabs was finding a new shell and was constantly having to fend off Plankton while Spongebob worked exhausting shifts due to the struggling economy.

Swee gets up and fast forwards through the Spongebob episode, before pausing it at a shot of the town.
Swee: Look how run down everything is, you can really see the toll the economic failure took.

By this time, me and the crew were getting kind of creeped out by Swee's odd outbursts and pacing. We changed topics.

Interviewer: When did the agency find out?
Swee: The minute I gave them the vital sketches. I also took footage. They gave it to the big man and took away all further evidence I had. They told me not to tell anyone, and the next day, I noticed they were dumping hazardous waste over Bikini Bottom.

We didn't want to stop there.

Interviewer: Why would they do that?
Then Swee told us all we needed to know.
Swee: To cover it up. Say it was mutations in the sea life I had recorded.

Swee: I was sworn to a code of secrecy and I broke it. The boss contacted me and the next day they took my brother in for questioning.

Swee: They already knew what happened. They just needed enough evidence to charge me.

Swee: Later in the fall of '08, they sent me to a correctional facility in Rusk, Texas. But the press still got to me there.

Swee: The government knew I'd talk if given the chance, so in a cold night in October, they secretly transported me to classified prison in Mexico.

Interviewer: Did you have any connections with El Chapo like stated in Mexican media?
Swee: Nah, we were just buds, not partners in the drug business. He could always deliver the goods and liked a good Spongebob marathon. Knew a good rye when he saw one.

By this time, Swee was making us a bit nervous. His odd words about Spongebob and El Chapo, as well as his talk, got to us. We got up and decided to leave.

NEXT TIME ON: Hidden Bikini Bottom
We get real footage of Bikini Bottom and an online interview with apparent Sandy Cheeks from Texas.