Manifestation of the Paramount Ambition

every decision we make shapes our future, and our present life. and with this, a question comes: do we want to work to make the dreams we strive for a reality? or are we too afraid to simply try?

There is a light,

in the distance.

And a meaning,

to go along. 

A meaning of serenity,

and fate. 

It is effulgent,

radiant in every aspect. 

Yet for me,

it’s also ominous and parlous.

It reaches out,

for a fragile,
inexperienced hand to hold.

Only accepting those who prove their 
undeniable desire for potential success.
That is,

in garnering their future.

The light,
a metaphor to correlate,

with the overriding,
un presumable destiny,

of the dream I so often long for.

The light stares,

it does not waver once I look it in the face.

It is possible.
It is here.

It grows brighter,

eliciting an overwhelming passion for accomplishment.

I reach out my hand,

I know I cannot receive it without determination and arduous ambition.

Whether it latches onto my yearning fingertips this time,

or it takes a step back,

as if to say “just a little more,”

like it has in the past,

will be concluded, detrimental…
…
I seemed to pause in mid-air,

just out of touch of my fate.

An epiphany,
one that then seemed reasonable and reliable.

One that seemed accurate,
and whole.

True and honest.

Unfaltering and anything but inexplicable.
Though now the label:
‘a mere excuse…’


… The only problem,

what I continue to strive for is so beyond measure,

my own imagination can’t grasp the reality of what is here,
what is now.

And as of now,
I cannot comprehend the overwhelming opportunity right in front of me, 

without concluding it as consistent,
failed attempt of my future.

Dreams are meant to be attainable,

yet farfetched and ached for.

And I am so close 
to a whole new world beyond the light -
A whole new life -
That I am severely,
urgently frightened,

that once again,

I will fall short to my expectations. 

And what now is,

is all I have.

And what now consists of
is reputable disappoinment in garnering my potential life.

Even though my goals are once again, 

a fraction away,

a sudden realization shapes;

some things are not meant to be.

And this light may not grow dark,

until I decide to close my eyes.

But for now,
what I’ve decided:
Shaping my present, 

is perhaps the most obvious decision. 

Because in a breath,

it becomes the past.

Obtaining my now is more reasonable

than spending effort on constantly,

seemingly only trying,

for what can come,

and what is out there - beyond the light.

A different outlook replaces my intention of outlining my destiny -
that is the ample essence of retrieving anything but observingly,
repeating, assumed, expected,
ultimate failure…
…

What was beyond the light,
I never seemed to find out.
For fear of the future,

was the most cynical form of procrastination and disheartening realization.
The ultimate nightmare of reality.

Prevailing my overall discontent -

deriving from my continually failed potential-

over all things regarding to what I viewed hope as.

And In the end,

the light seemed to fluctuate,

and continued to retreat from grasp.

Further it flashed;

Beckoning,

shouting,

pulling.

But in a second,

ambition and the inferred future,

became suddenly,

a faint memory,

of what I almost had,

but was not strong enough to continue after. 

This all because I simply
 halted my grasping hands,

lowered my aching head,

closed my heavy eyes,

and realized...
The once shining,
desperate light,

was impenetrable.
And it symbolized the corrupt unknown. 

It’s consistency,

remained anything but symmetrically based,

pertaining to what I actually achieved and what I craved to be accomplished.

A certain phobia had formed,

and controlled my chances of happiness, success.

A risk not taken,

a path not chosen,

because I was too vulnerable to the odds of not garnering my full potential, 

yet again.

So today,
I get to decide my now, 

over what my thriving,
desired future had been,

and remains as,

but unfortunately will never be again…
…

and so with a decided,
informed, made up, thoughtless mind,

I said " I can’t,“

turned around,

and walked
…
away. 

And for the rest of the year,

acted as if everyday was the same as the one before:

Guaranteed.

Reviews

[Laura S-C]

wow that in my opinion had so much much emotion behind it and had a very realistic base line.

[B. Hudson]

appreciate time and review!