Thunderstorms

A Story by BHZolo

A Love story.

I want to lay back on my sofa looking out across the forest of pines that lay outside my window as the rain falls gently from the heavens there i am with her as we lay close together sharing the warmth of the evening outside the world is grey and a sweet aroma drifts in the air an altogether pleasant evening --This was her first time away from home, from all that she knew to be real. and as she flew into Albuquerque it began to rain. i picked her up at around six, and then the rain really began to come down. I could tell from her eyes the moment i picked her up that she was scared. Not of the rain, but of moving to a new place a new everything So we drove forty minutes out of town there was an awkward silence the whole way i could tell she was calculating her decision to move in with me. and i couldn't blame her, so i tried not to say anything. We finally pulled up to my house i got out and pulled her things out of the car and headed toward the house she took the keys from me, and opened the door "is harley inside?" she asked harley being the german shepherd we had bought together two years earlier "yes he's inside, i bet he'll be happy to see you" i told her She hadn't seen me for a year and was hesitant when i asked her to move in with me So i tried my hardest not to overwhelm her with everything so i started by setting her things in the bedroom and she sat on the couch harley came into the living room and instantly remembered her to say the least, he was a happy pooch. finally after sitting around for a while i decided to show her around the house we moved out of the living room to the kitchen the light was dim and comforting in this weather and i finally led her up the stairs the room opened up into a loft, books and papers were across my desk "messy much", she said sarcastically I laughed and showed her the two other rooms upstairs "So what do you want for dinner" i asked "what do you have" and we moved back downstairs "let me cook, please" she asked excitedly so i finally let her free on the kitchen i wasn't really hungry so she decided to cook something small just some chicken that i had in the freezer i could tell she was excited to be doing something after it was finished we sat and ate in silence Her eyes showed that she was getting tired i took her back upstairs and she got into bed Just finally seeing her here was real enough for me and i could tell in her beautiful eyes that this is where she wanted to be "goodnight, I love you" I said "I love you too," She said in her soft voice, "goodnight" and i went back downstairs to finish the work i had put off-- I want to go outside now the world stuck in shades of green and gray and the rain had finally stopped songs from birds slowly flow through the morning air and she is next to me where ever i go its always her in my dreams -- "wake up sleepy" she said as she nudged me on the shoulder I guess i must have fallen asleep at my desk the computer screen blank "Hey, Good morning," i smiled "how was you night" i asked hoping for something positive "it was ok, i woke up not knowing where i was, but then i saw our picture" I got up and hugged her not wanting to let go she seemed not to mind "what do you want for breakfast" i asked "oh i dont know" she sat down next sat down next to me her eyes were still half asleep "well my aunt is cooking something special" i said "lets go and visit" "what time are we going" the words flowing from her lips "we should go in the next few hours" i admitted she got up and headed to the room Outside the rain had settled down and the morning sun had already peeked out of the mountains i said to myself that this was going to be a good day Opening the door i went outside walking across the wet floor of the earth the pines were bright green and smelled beautiful after a moment of awe, i opened my mailbox I looked up at the second story and saw that a window was fogged over she was taking a shower i thought to myself Harley was already outside enjoying the day and he followed me back inside i wiped his paws off as we stepped through the door I laid backed on the couch and tried not to think But suddenly it became to difficult i remembered the moment i found out my parents had died I was working in LA when i got a phone call from my aunt "Im sorry sweetie, your parents were in a car accident" i couldnt help but to ask if they were ok "it had just started raining and they collided" I could tell at this point she was staring to cry "its ok i will be there in a few hours" i said as calmly as i could and hung up i heard the bedroom door open from upstairs and i opened my eyes trying to erase what i had remembered almost an hour had past she walked down the stairs, her hair still wet "you look great" i said, meaning my words "thanks" she said, turning away so i couldn't see her blush we headed to the door and into the car a holographic black nissan murano the car was quiet as we left the house behind us and the world flashed by our windows "over there is the shopping mall" i pointed "and thats where i get my food" "and there is the target, mcdonalds, i dont know" i admitted i didnt know what to say to her, i was trying to fill the void of nothing she could tell "its fine, i think i will manage, thanks" and she smiled sweetly she just wanted to enjoy the ride. finally i made the turn onto my aunts street she is an older woman and lives alone, well not quite alone she does have a small puppy named Ace a cute german shepherd "you ready" i asked "i am hungry, lets go" she said excitedly I got out first and opened her door and we walked together up the path to the door I opened the door "hello, Auntie?" I asked loudly "Come in, Come in you two" she waved us inside the door "foods getting cold, hurry up and eat" We sat down at the large oak table "So how was the trip" my aunt asked my love answered with, "It was fine, lucky i got some sleep though" I started to eat, and the women began to talk and suddenly they became a blur around me I focused on what was in front of me I put a pancake on my plate and a few slices of bacon there was also biscuits and gravy my aunt knew how to make me happy and knew how to cook too but i was feeling a little self conscious this morning I ate small bits at a time trying not to hurry and i finished it off with a glass of fresh orange juice "this is delicious" i said i could see that neither of them had eaten much "are you going to have any biscuits" my aunt asked "no im not that hungry" i lied "but you usually eat more than that, come on eat up honey" "im fine, thank you" i said the girls were still talking and i went to lay on the floor in the living room lucky the way the house was i couldnt hear the two of them talking I just wanted to think I closed my eyes and more questions popped into my head All the things my dad told me before he died the night of the crash the reason i left california and the reason my love was here all thins i would have to sort out i opened my eyes, and Ace was by my side eager to play He was a very playful pooch and he sat there next to me, wagging his tail waiting for my move I slowly tried to get up, my eyes locked on his his eyes on mine and he jumped into an alert position then i lunged forward trying to smother the dog he was swift and got out of the way he pushed me over with his paws and i was again laying on the floor, defenseless then he jumped on me full force and began to lick me "ewww dog, get off," and i pushed him away he jumped back and began again, i was laughing and a smile was on my face finally after a few minutes of wrestling, we were both tired i laid on the floor, catching my breath with Ace by my side, where i pet him, feeling his heart beat through his skin I was too distracted to see that my aunt had just come into the room "you ok" she laughed "yes im fine" "there is some coffee in here if you want any" "Ok, thank you" and i got up on the walk to the kitchen i could feel my entire body beating my heart working extra heard for the short trip "i think were gonna get out of here" i said as i entered the kitchen it was just past noon, and a beautiful day We said our goodbyes "you two take care" my aunt said as we got into the car "bye, love you. I will be over next week" i said and we were off Again we were alone in the car of course i had questions, but i couldn't ask her directly i had to figure this out but for now i wasn't complaining "so what do you want to do now" i asked "i dont know" she admitted "lets talk" i said, hiding my intentions "lets talk" she repeated happily "i know i asked you out here, any you were hesitant" i started "honestly i dont know how to act after not seeing you for so long" i continued i could tell she was paying close attention as every word fell from my lips "i didnt know if you would come or not, but i had to ask" it was getting harder for me to talk "i dont want to make this awkward for you" and i stopped and she looked at me like i was crazy like i had somehow insulted her and she said "do you think i would have come if i didnt want to" "im just saying its been one night, if you want to go back i wont blame you" i said again she looked at me as if i had suddenly gone insane "ok i just had to throw out the offer; lets go home" i ended we sped down the empty streets, green blurs passed us we arrived at the house around two o'clock in the afternoon. Harley was patiently awaiting out arrival, his tail wagging uncontrollably there was honestly nothing to do at my home so if felt a little bad when i left her alone at times but i could tell she had gotten comfortable quickly we sat together and watched some movies, today was a lazy day, but a good one i looked outside, as the sun was slowly setting the green trees outside turning grey and the scent of the pines touched my nose she has fallen asleep in my arms and soon i followed-- I want to let go let the whole of the universe engulf us the sky is dark, and magnificent light is revealed past the veil as i look into the stars i realize i am looking into her eyes no matter how lost i get, her eyes are my home the ground is cold and wet around us but when im with her i only feel the warmth of her heart and together we lay, until the stars fall down --I woke up slowly, my eyes opened to see a small sliver of sunlight and she was gone, my heart sank, a million questions raced through my mind where was she? was i dreaming this all? I got up in a rush, and felt my head get a rush the room was dark, except for sunlight peeking through the window and i walked, i could feel my heart beat as i was searching for her searching for a ghost, an illusion in my own mind going upstairs, i slowly opened my bedroom door and she was there, laying in peaceful sleep Harley the loyal laying at her feet, keeping her warm a tear slowly crept down my face, and i closed the door "get it together man" i whispered to myself i went into my office, and began to work the clock showed eight o'clock my job was simple, a photographer and i also did some work for NatGeo so i loved what i did i gave me alot of opportunities to travel and i began to type on my computer it took the better part of an hour before i was finished i needed to go outside, i needed to run so i got some shorts out of the laundry room and put them on and left a note for the sleeping beauty upstairs it read "Good morning my love, if you wake to this note, i went for a run, be back soon" and then i headed outside the ground was still wet from the night before and i began to run i let my mind free and things became clearer I felt my heartbeat the ground through my feet the smell of the wet trees everything in harmony and it came back to me the night i hurried to my parents side "its ok i will be there in a few hours" i said as calmly as i could and hung up i headed directly to LAX, and got on the first flight to Albuquerque when i arrived the city was wet, as the heavens were crying i got a cab to take me directly to the Hospital my movements were blurred as i raced to the emergency room and i arrived to where my father lay my aunt was in the room "wheres my mom" i asked "she's gone sweetie, they did what they could" "and what about him" i pointed to the bed "not much longer, they are doing their best" and she began to cry i moved to where she was sitting and hugged her i took a deep breath "you can go home, get some sleep auntie" i said, knowing she would refuse "no i need to be here" "please i dont need you stressing, go home" i insisted, "i will call you if anything happens" and with that, she got up, gave me a long hug, and left the room and then i was back in the forest waters was gently falling around me what was left from the night before this was my favorite place alone in the wilderness my heart was still racing from the run so i began to walk back there was a path that led from behind my house into the forest that was my backyard sometimes on early mornings, i could see beautiful brown/grey deer cross my windows and one time last year, the same time i bought this place, a bear was eating berries just yards away from me I loved this place finally i got home around nine twenty there was no sign that my love was awake so i stayed downstairs and took a shower when i was finished i changed and went upstairs again i slowly opened to door to look inside she was still asleep i stepped into the room "come on boy" i whispered and harley rolled over "hey you, get out here" i insisted this time he rolled over and looked at me "yeah thats right, get over here" and he got out of bed, and walked to me I closed the door with Harley at my side we went downstairs and i got him some food he just went to the couch and laid down "ok lazy, everyones asleep but me" and he ignored me i had to find a distraction i was used to being alone but now i had someone else in the house and honestly i didn't know what to do wake her up, cook for her, or leave her alone it was only her second night here after all I had it in my head that i should cook breakfast but i ignored that impulse, because i knew she wouldnt be hungry not yet anyway so i sat down next to Harley he didnt move, as i reached for the remote and turned on the TV i flipped through the channels trying to find something interesting to watch the same shows seemed to be on it seemed that all the good stuff had already been done so i settled for the weather channel "today is sunny, but a storm is coming" is what i heard the grey haired man continued "the low pressure system is moving from the west" "expect showers and grey skies for the rest of the week" and its only tuesday, i thought to myself "thank you bill, and in other news..." i changed the channel it was steadily approaching ten o'clock so i decided to wake my love i headed upstairs opening the door i could see she was in a half sleep so i continued, and sat down by her side "you ok" i asked, my had was on her shoulder "yeah, i was waiting for you to wake me up" "sorry, i didnt know what to do" i admitted "i read the note, cute" i shrugged and smiled "so what do you want to do today" i asked "i dont know, this is your place" and she shrugged also "there's really nothing to do, i dont do stuff" i told her "thats ok" "i have a plan for tomorrow though, were going somewhere" "really where" she asked "i have the idea that there is something i have to do" i told her "ok, where are we going then" she continued "dont worry, remember that dream i told you i had a while ago" "No, that really narrows it down" and she laughed "well i think its about to come true" "damn it, tell me" "nope that would ruin the surprise, get out of bed lazy" and i pushed her over "Love you" "love you too" she said and i left the room honestly there was nothing to do in my house minus reading, playing video games, or surfing the internet i wasn't much for having company my house was clean and tidy and people came over, but mostly for business and that was even rare so i had to find something to do until the trip tomorrow there was nothing to do in town, minus shopping so that was out, i didnt even like to shop, most of what i bought was online. which is a bad habit of mine i heard the shower turn on upstairs and thought that should be enough time to plan what we would do today maybe take her to dinner, fine i thought but what will we do until then my mind was swamped, i admitted it was difficult making plans for more than myself "damn" i said to myself well i had time to decide, so i let my mind wander now that she was here, i couldn't stop thinking about the day i left her and never went back i had no explanation i left my job, my friends, and her all because of one thing my father told me and a dream i had. I was alone now, in a room with my dying father the heart monitor show a weak signal i knew he didnt have long i tried to hold back my tears i saw him there helpless, a man i had known i fought, i loved helpless i gave up, giving up to my emotion and moved to his side the world blurred around us we were alone and i saw his soft lips move "i" my mind went blank "love you" "dont talk" i said blankly "i" he stopped it felt like forever, waiting for his words his voice sounded weak i could see he was trying to save energy "dont" i could feel my heart beating "let your" beating in my chest, in my brain "past" my eyes were blurred by tears "con" he waited "trol" the monitor was beating faster "your" everything around me was no longer real only us "future" and he closed his eyes the monitor was buzzing and i fell to my knees a ball of pain and sadness nurses rushed into my world white uniform in a white room, they were ghosts i left the room, my feet floating on glass Harley moved to where i was sitting he licked my hand "ok dog" i got up and opened the door to the outside Harley jumped out as fast as he could and i let him to the world the shower stopped another idea popped into my head it was approaching eleven o'clock now already almost half the day was gone luckily i had no real work to do so i went to the kitchen and made two sandwiches i got some turkey, lettuce and tomato, pretty much the works and sealed them in a zip-lock i looked in the cupboard, and got some small snacks and drinks we were going outside to enjoy the rest of the day and there was a question i needed to ask her i put all the food into a picnic basket i happened to have for some odd reason and i also found a blanket i didnt mind getting dirty she come down the stairs "what is this" she asked "oh, were going on a picnic" "let me see what you have" and she walked into the kitchen she hugged me "here you finish" i said and i headed up into the bedroom i closed the door behind me it was risky keeping it up here i looked through the draw next to my bed i didnt look like she had been through it lucky for me, she wasnt nosey the only bad thing was, she didnt like surprises but i knew she wouldnt mind this i pulled a small box out of the pile of things that covered it and when i opened it, i was greeted with a small shining ring a silver band complete with diamond on top was this real i asked myself was i about to do what i was thinking yes i finally decided and slipped the box into my pocket i stepped outside the door, and down the stairs stopping in the doorway to watch her in silence "you done" i asked finally "yes" she smiled i moved into the kitchen "did you pack anything for harley" "yup" she handed me the basket "you ready then" i asked "let do it" and we headed out the door i took her down a trail that went behind the house it was small, and i traveled it many times there was a special place up here somewhere beautiful to ask her but no place could be as beautiful as her harley was at our side, running up and down the trail ahead of us "well i wish i knew the names of these plants" i admitted she laughed "its ok" "well then if you look over there" and i pointed "thats a bird" she smiled "hey look" and this time she pointed "thats a tree" "oh good one" we walked though the trail until the pines around us opened up they revealed a large green field, this was a perfect picnic spot and i had been here before sometimes on lonely nights, i had come out here to see the stars and to think and here i was, with the person i usually thought about "oh this is perfect " she said as we found a place to set up i pulled the blanket out of the basket and set it on the ground and we sat there for a while enjoying the warm sun and cool air she was at my side "hey i want to tell you something" she looked at me, interested "remember the day i called you" i asked "after i left" "yes" she said, and a tear formed in her beautiful eye "when i told you i wouldn't be going back" she was silent i was finding the courage to tell her, the rest "when i went back to LA to pack my house, i went by your fathers place" i tried to explain the surrounding, the atmosphere he was sitting alone, in front of the TV "hey" i said, putting my hand on his shoulder "how are you" "HI, the games on, i didnt know you were coming over" he said "oh i wont be long" i insisted i sat down by his side "im here to tell you im leaving" "what, where are you going" he asked "im going to New Mexico" "well whats up there for you son" "there is something i have to do" he was silent "and i want to ask you a question" "ok, ask" "i want to marry your daughter" no words escaped his lips i waited, time seemed to be frozen waiting for his answer his eyes were calculating, and i knew his answer before he said it and a small tear fell from his eye "yes, of course" i said no more words and he was silent kissing him on the forehead, i got up, and left the house. not seeing him ever again and the world rushed back to me I was with her again the sound of bird songs filled our ears and i looked into her stars her beautiful green eyes as i told her the story she moved closer to me staring at my lips, waiting for every word she hugged me tightly i could feel her tears on my shoulder finally she looked at me "I love you" she said "I love you too" and with that i reached into my pocket where i revealed a little red box i saw her tears, and they were mine i opened the box she was by my side the sun high in the afternoon sky "Will you be my wife" the moment overwhelmed me and i began to cry just as the words left my mouth we looked into each others eyes staring, forever she was trying to speak her lips quivering "yes" she said in her low hushed voice a moment just for us a special place a special time We were back home time suddenly flew as we finished lunch and packed everything up the sky was getting darker, as grey clouds appeared in the evening sky it was going to rain around five o'clock my mind finally began to slow down there was still something we had to do i packed some cloths for the both of us and put them in the car i found her on the computer "I love you" i said "im going to bed" she got up, and again we hugged, "i love you" "goodnight my love" i said and went upstairs i laid in the bed, thinking of the days past and i was smiling until finally i fell asleep-- i want to stay up all night enjoying your company as the sun appears out of the eastern mountains and here we laid together watching the morning come our future looks clearer now another piece of the puzzle fit snugly into place and we were meant to be together as the sun rises a million shining stars are veiled and the coolness of the morning flows over our bodies being with her, always in my dreams -- I woke up at two in the morning i wasnt really a morning person as if in a daze i moved through the house knowing where every object i needed was i packed snacks for the trip, although we wouldnt need them a blanket and pillow and a small bag of cloths for the both of us i almost didnt see my love as i went to my computer she had fallen asllep on a couch and was wrapped in a warm blanket i stopped for a moment to admire my sleeping beauty I rubbed my eyes, to clear my head "wake up my love" she didnt "he wake up" i said i a soft voice nothing and then i nudged her a little "huh" she said, clouded in sleep "hey, we just have to go to the car" and i lead her by her hand as she stumbled to the passenger seat and sat down she was out cold almost immediately i turned it on to warm up a bit Harley was up he walked around my legs as i headed back into the house i checked all the windows and doors upstairs and down leading harley out the door i set the alarm. and then we got into the car i stopped by my aunts dropping harley into her yard this would be a surprise in the morning harley looked at me "be a good boy, ok" and i left i would be back to get him in a few days but to be honest i havent been without him for over a year now and this would be a little more difficult so i returned and sat for a moment petting his soft forehead and body then it began to rain I jumped into the car as fast as possible it was warm and she was next to me my love, my everything i turned the key and started to our destination the rain exploded on the windows and i was speeding down the I-25 and before i knew it i was in Santa Fe no matter how many times i made this trip after i passed Santa Fe everything seemed to slow down everything was dead the only thing on the road at this time were the truck drivers who haunt it lights flashed all around me and the rain continued to fall and suddenly the world was black i had left another city in my wake before we made it to espanola my mind wandered "so how would i do this" i asked myself my dream was quite vague and strange but for some reason it always stuck in my head and was the first dream i had after my parents death i could no longer let my past effect my future especially after my engagement and i slowly drifted back to reality and espanola was a memory of lights taos was in front of us a place i had been many times the night did this place no glory a beautiful smell drifted in through my window as did a cool breeze and she woke up "where are we" i stared ahead "oh were in taos, not that far from where i grew up" "what time is it" she asked i looked at the clock "almost four fifteen, you ok" i asked "I know what we are doing" she said at this point i shouldnt be surprised by her, but i still am in fact in some way i was hoping she would have told me earlier maybe to talk me out of it, but it had to be done we stopped at a gas station just outside of town it was still raining i left with a five gallon can of gas, pepsi, and twix "how far are we" she asked and i looked into her eyes, like i love to "oh about thirty minutes" and she closed her eyes, trying not to smile at me i was kinda tired so i let her drive i told her the directions the rain was hitting hard harder than minutes before but i wasnt worried time grew slower i knew almost every sign between Taos and Questa checking them off the list as we passed and then if was before us, lights small building, white, scattered the main road and we hit the only stop signal in town then it was green and we were on our way. it was approaching dawn red was on the horizon the time was coming closer we could see the open fields that lined the highway no cars in sight and almost ten minutes out of questa down an old road hardly traveled was a small pink trailer it had been abandoned for years and we pulled into the driveway grass and weeds had taken over this place ages ago this is where i grew up all my past locked up inside and this was the key my dream, it was about to happen i was going to set me free we got out of the car, and she stood behind me this was my pain "my heart bleed here" i screamed she held my hand, she understood what i needed to do for years i had been fighting with who i was i left my love because my parents died and i never returned after what my father told me i ignored him but here i was the day after i get engaged finally to work toward a productive future over a year after the fact the rain was subdued and there i stood the sun rising over my shoulder i got the five gallon can out of the car she was by my side and i began to pour the smell of it was strong and i covered what i could in gasoline this was the moment i struck the lighter switch my thumb running rubbing down the middle and a flame came out of the end here i was with her just like in my dream and the flame touched the fuel igniting my small puddles and in the next few moments the flames grew and grew like the years of my life all the blood, the tears, the pain and then it was all gone my heart was at ease i closed my eyes she was by my side

"so what do we do now" her soft voice asked

we looked into each others eyes

"we build our future"

and she wrapped me tightly in her arms

"I love you"

The End