CSA: Crime Scene Animals

“The Peacock left a trail of feathers turquoise and blue on the zoo’s asphalt.” Elaborated Officer Mouse, after his examination of the crime scene. “Of what I can tell someone murdered Peacock in cold blood. Why, I don’t know, but I suspect a crime of passion.” Mouse was a tall fellow of about 3 inches. He was a young cop still in his prime, but not to level headed. The crime scene was located behind Lion’s cage. There was a lot of blood and several feathers, but no body. The whole area had been taped off.

 Inspector Koala had just arrived on the scene. He was a short fellow that had gone gray in his years. A senior member of FBA and one of its most prized enforcers. He moved past the police tape surrounding the site and then glanced around. “Mouse this is much larger than you realize. It wasn’t the Peacock at all it was the Emu.” Koala coolly explained.

“How can you be so sure?” Demanded Mouse.

“Well for one thing Peacock is standing right behind you.” Koala said in a sly tone. “But even so these are not peacock feathers, they are Emu feathers. No, this was no simple crime of passion, this was planned.” Koala pulled out a eucalyptus leaf and began munching it as he slowly paced around the site, looking for clues, trying to contemplate every lead.

“What makes you so sure it was planned?” Questioned Mouse reluctantly.

“The murder was done too well, all angles were covered. For instance there are no signs of a struggle or of Emu being dragged away. The killer knew what they were doing and did it fast and efficiently. They had to have been preparing for weeks and waiting for just the right moment.” Koala bent down and examined the ground closely with his paw. “The only thing that bothers me is the motive. What made the murderer so mad at Emu as to want to kill her?” Said Koala thoughtfully, while running his paw through his ears. “Mouse perhaps you would like to enlighten us all?”

“I have no idea.” Said Mouse, with an uneasy look.

“Oh but Mouse, I think you know better than anyone here.”

“What makes you think I know anything.” Exclaimed Mouse in a defiant tone.

“Well for one thing you were the last one seen with Emu last night.”

“That doesn’t mean anything!”

“No your right that evidence is very circumstantial. But this isn’t.” Koala revealed a tiny police issue gun. “You covered almost everything Mouse, but in the end you failed to make sure the most important piece of evidence was taken care of.”

“It’s not what it looks like my gun was stolen a couple nights ago.”

“Nice try, but then why didn’t you report it?”

“I’m a busy Mouse, I don’t have time for paperwork.” Stammered Mouse.

“Lies! You are the most obsessive one in the force about paperwork. Mouse just stop trying, we got you. Officers take him away.” The other officers working at the scene grabbed Mouse and carried him off.

“Well, it looks like my work here is done.” Koala calmly stated as he walked away tossing his spent eucalyptus.

 

Reviews

[Drew Wade]

Well, the idea is charming, and the characters are fun, and there are moments of great humor. I have to give you an A just for making me laugh.

I think that you need to build up to the climax more, though, make it more of a mystery. Leave more clues as to how Mouse did it, what kind of relationship he had with Emu, and introduce other suspects with obvious motive to try to throw Koala off.

I think this will, when you finish it, turn out excellent.

I laughed all the way through reading this.
You've got a few grammar errors here and there.
I think that you ought to work a little more on the dialogue and make it stronger.

[Sarah]

Aw, this was too cute. xD
Very original idea... animals solving crimes like in CSI. =)
Nice job. I really enjoyed reading this.^^