Fire Freely

 

Matt attacking Force was by far not the strangest thing that’s ever happened on swimming. On day I was walking around the Norris center with some friends before a meet. All I have to say is kids don’t try this at home.

“Hey what if we filled all the lockers with pot and then lit them up.” Worbel considered as we walked down the stairs from the pool to the locker room.

“Yea, it would be like a sauna, but instead of steam it would be pot.” agreed Behnhart.

“Wow, you guys need help.” I laughed as we walked into the locker room.

“No, seriously think about it. We’d all be chillen down there getting high.” thought Worbel

“Man that would be awesome.” agreed Behnhart

“What would you do if one of the coaches walked down?” I questioned.

“Ben and Lance wouldn’t care. They’d walk down and be like what are you guys doing down there. Then they’d be like “awesome” and join us.” joked Behnhart 

We continued joking about Worbel’s plan, when they noticed Coker sitting on one of the benches in the locker room. Coker sat transfixed on an object in his hand, obviously wasted and oblivious of his three teammates in the room.

“Hey Coker, what are you starring at?” I questioned

Coker stood up and snapped the lighter shut stopping its flame and held it out for the others to see. “Zippo” Coker said in his slow zoned out voice. “Heeey, wana see something.” Coker said as he began to lower his shorts.

“NO!” the three of us screamed in unison.

“It’s cool.” Coker lit the lighter and held it to his now exposed pubic hair. The hair lit up and quickly burned out. Smoke issued from the spot. “See cool” Coker laughed lackadaisically.

“You’re screwed up man.” laughed Worbel. The room began to stink the smell of burning hair filled it.

“What is that?” I exclaimed.

“Coker why’d you burn your hair it reeks!”

“Hey wana see something cooler?” Coker muttered.

“Um sure.” I responded uneasily.

Coker opened the lighter, but didn’t light it this time. Instead he put his mouth to the lighter and started sucking. He then pulled the lighter away and lit it. Coker turned towards Behnhart blowing into the lighter. A huge fireball jumped into the air hitting Behnhart square in the face. He slammed against the lockers and fell to the ground. He was fine other than his eyebrows were a little singed.

“Are you f*****g crazy?” Behnhart panted sitting there with a look of shock on his face. Worbel and I just laughed. The door to the locker room opened and Bow walked in.

“What the F**k. It smells like s**t.” Bow turned around and left the room. Worbel and I started laughing harder. Behnhart just sat there starring at the wall. With Worbel’s help we managed to get him up. The three left Coker for the lobby and cleaner air.