Letting go

She does not know why she couldn't. She just couldn't let it go.

A young girl gets inside 

the warm comfy bed

with a wide smile

She does not know why

she smiles

She closes her eyes

wanting to have a fantasy dream

Tossing and turning

she gives up

She gets up and looks out the window

It was a clear sky

so dark that you could see nothing in the ground

As she looks at the stars

her smile returns

quickly turning it to a frown

"Why can't I sleep?''

She closes her eyes

a face comes to her mind

She quickly opens her beautiful brown eyes

wondering why his face came up

She looks at the night sky

seeing the bright star

She puts her hand to a fist

she looks at the star more

letting her hand go

She reaches for the star

wanting to have it to herself

She tries to grab the star

but felt nothing

Expect a feeling 

She, again, put her hand in to a fist

not wanting to let go of the feeling

She thought for a while

remembering the boy

she thought of all the things they talked about

Then slowly, her smile faded

the day she heard that he had someone else

She had put in her best smile

and got over it

or so she thought

He had an other girl

and probably forgot about her

Who would remember her

but with the feeling of the star

she felt as if they were connected right now

People told her that

when you have a broken heart

you would be crying 

but she DID have a broken heart

yet she was smiling

"He was only a crush''

she convinced herself

but she knew wrong

she would do anything to talk to him

Anything

Looking at the star

she felt relived

Than she looked at her fist

the feeling,

but he was with someone else

She had to let go

She tried to open her fist

but couldn't

She didn't know why she couldn't

"Because...''

she answered herself sadly

looking at the star one last time,

she slowly broke her fist apart

loosing the feeling

She was happy through

even if it was loosing it forever

she looked at her reflection in the window

and saw a tear drop   

Author's Note

I know this sucks, so PLEASE help! And thank you for reading :D

Reviews

[Stacey]

Well first of all, I really liked the poem and the picture it painted. I did notice a couple typoes. First one I noticed was and look out the window. Should be looks out the window. The second one was when you said she give laughs at the funny parts. I don't think you need the word give in there. Maybe something like she laughs at the funny parts, or she laughed at the funny parts. And finally, the last one I noticed in the poem was she had putted her best smile. I think it would sound better as she put on her best smile. And no, it doesn't suck, it has potential, just edit a couple things and it'll be all good to go. Hope this helps.

Cheers,

Staceyanna

[misha]

This was an interesting piece. I loved how the poem turned into a story about a girl who learns shes in love. Great job!

[Bhumika Devkota]

Thank you.