yellow

Your knowing surpasses me now
roses or sunflowers
-both yellow.

Painted on the mantel 
so not at all you 
but you.

Yearning to hear your voice
like petals to me now.

Maybe it started off like roses
and turned into the sunflowers.

More tragic now-
but more beauty 
and less... 
cliche.

Fonder it grows
not hearing my petals.

Never can I understand to be on my own.

So I peek at the mantel...
shut my eyes...
and...
imagine the yellow 
-nearing my ears.

Restless 

what will he utter?

Constantly wistful,
Until you deliver!

the petals 
once more. 

Reviews

[Érenn]

Ok my first impression of this poem: Interesting. I have been meaning to come to your page and read your works. I now get the time ^^.

I will talk about how this poem went for me and then I will talk about the interpretation(s?).

The flow of this is write is very good. The tonal variations moving from one verse to another is quite a treat. The imagery you invoke in this write is superb and I could immerse myself in this write. ^^ I like the originality of this write as well. Roses indeed sound cliched in the language of love. There are always more colors to it ^^.

Ok now about what I ended up interpreting...... Hard to say feels like you are talking bout the past or the fact that the young love that once existed has gone through several stages and now even if it does not have the same color love still exists. The fact that you have used sunflower here gives me the feeling that although it may not be the rosy like love the narrator once had but it is sturdier now and has yet to fade way. At the same time praying that it lasts longer. Another thing I couldn't help but think.... you have used the word 'yellow" a lot and there is a repetition of the word mantel. Made me wonder is there a landscape or painting drawn with the fields of sunflowers (maybe daffodils) or anything related to yellow???

Over all I enjoyed this write and looking forward to read your stories as well ( Prose is something I comprehend better and with much more ease than poetry). Thank you for sharing ^^

[Bacchus]

Looks like we were making stops at the same time! :)
Thank you so much for your review.
read moreLooks like we were making stops at the same time! :)
Thank you so much for your review.
His painted sunflowers are sitting on the mantel.
I'll leave the rest a mystery. But you are there.

[LittleBear]

I loved this. Good poetry is always a treat. I actually "fan - girled" over this for a moment. It has a more serious tone but the beauty of it made me smile. Honestly, I do not know for sure what this one is about but, applying my personal life to your words, I have some ideas. Would you enlighten me? ♡

[Bacchus]

i think keeping in illusive you can keep it yours too. :)
this is the poem that started it all for me, made me think I could maybe write-
so thank you for fanning. it lit me up again to keep it up.

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

I am starting at the beginning! This speaks to me of thoughts of a loved one triggered by the sight of something that is associated with them...it's like there's stencil on the mantel, or a painting there...
Perhaps, I am projecting my own strange mind wanderings on this but I feel it. As though, you are keeping a part of that person with you while they are gone...feeling a bit lost...missing them, but comforted by the presence of these sunflowers. I may be way off...but I like what I am seeing in my minds eye...this is a waiting poem to me...to me, it's not over....it's a missing you poem. Love your work and so excited to start at the beginning! I rarely do that....it's a fault of mine. :)

[Bacchus]

Thank you so much friend.
It was a missing you poem for sure.
You are all right- about it all.
Thanks for reading- thanks for getting it-
This was the first piece where I picked up the pen this Sept...
thinking maybe,
with a little wine,
I can do this crazy thing called writing. :)

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Yes, wine always helps the "stage fright"! I still feel a thrill when I push that "publish" button...I think I even physically cringe. :)

[Lyn Anderson]

ok, now your comment mystifies me a little. At first blush, I would say this poem is about a lost loved one, possibly even passed away, or a person for whom the reader longs -- how this connects to my flippant comment I must confess I am a little lost. :) Either way, it is a really good poem with vibrant images.

[Bacchus]

He was in the mountains for days and I couldn't even hear his voice. Hope that helps :)
This is just the only thing I've written about my Irish man so far...

[Lyn Anderson]

ah ok, well, mountaineer my Irish farmer is not.:)

[Bacchus]

Glad we're in the clear!

[barleygirl]

I'm having a hard time settling on what message is conveyed . . . is there a missing beloved enshrined in a painting above the mantel done in shades of yellow? I'm thinking roses are being treated as more desirable than sunflowers in your poem . . . like a step down . . . but then again, roses are delicate & fade fast, whereas sunflowers are tall, sturdy, & still standing well into the harshness of winter. Could these represent the difference between young love & that which has been tested? I'm not sure, but this is definitely a thought-provoking & interesting poem.

[Bacchus]

Yes- there is a missing beloved
Yes- there is a painting
Yes- it is yellow
Yes- a love not so young
Thanks for reading and hearing!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i feel that this is about wondering as the times get tougher...will he stay?

will the roses last---will he run? thus the yellow...the true lovers, the brave ones...they come back with more roses when the roses wilt.

i am really intrigued by your writing...

[Bacchus]

Thanks for reading- I'm loving your writing- so thanks for stopping by.
Just starting on my writing journey- but taking it pretty seriously.
Your comments are encouraging that my writing is connecting... and growing my thoughts on the piece as well. Many thanks.

[Nisreen]

You write in a very mysterious way
i wonder if yellow is more than just a color
i feel it embodies a person

[Bacchus]

Thanks for your thoughts. Yes, this poem is about the one I love embodying a gesture of a love and a favorite beauty to behold- flowers.

[McBear]

This was very interesting. I liked it!