Preface

I thought I'd give it a crack. I'm stuck here alone again. I miss her a lot and I just wanna see her all the time, but I guess that doesn't matter to anyone. I get home, the shoes come off, the belt next, and finally I plop onto the couch and stare at the ceiling. Why? Who told me to feel this way? F**k the f****r. I can't believe it. My professor got a class of strangers to weep at each other's awful and upsetting stories,then she shared hers. She lost a child.  Her first husband left her. I don't know whether I was sad for her or whether I was sad at the idea this could happen to me too of if could do this to someone.  I also remember carrying Sara.  She was so little and didn't know why papi died. She couldn't understand, but, despite her oblivious little eyes, she saw her mother balling and she did too. She ran to me of all people so I carried her for hours cause she is so sweet but she'll forget this moment for the rest of her life... just another child. We all should be? I have the rage of Achilles boiling in me half the time and the loneliness of Ms. Rigby the other half. Virgil can't guide me cause I know I'm not lost... I'm just tired. I don't want to be a hero for just one day; I want to be a hero forever.  More like 500 days of indifference--I have no season. I miss the catharsis of crying but I guess, no matter what I do, it only comes when I feel something. I just have to learn to not be so numb. F**k the f****r.  Oh what lovely little lives we lead, lying, listening, listing, and learning to lose everything we've ever loved, then lie in a large casket looking at the stars till dust takes us and the worms come. I forgot to take out the trash. S**t--gotta go. 

note to self--remove the curse words cause nobody knows I cuss this much.

Journal entry #1411

Reviews

[MeghanA]

another good one :* I loooooovveedd it

[GC]

'f**k the f****r' nah "f**k that f****n f****r!" :)

nice entry- i'd read on - oh look a next chapter

[holmgar]

i think this a nice introduction to the main character (it is the main character speaking right?) it describes his feelings,problems and way of thinking which i think is very important to get across in a good manner. I do however think that,in,the,first,part,of,the,story,there were a bit to many pauses which made the reader a bit too much aware he was reading in stead of feeling the story

[BAlanMorgan]

I fixed the pauses. I hope you re-read it and find a new flow to it. If not, feel free to keep telling me cause I truly want my writing to improve more and more every day.

[Cruz Niq]

Okay, so I'm not stalking you but I am a tit-for-tat person. But I've thoroughly enjoyed this. I'm a sucker for the journal entry structure. I have a weakness for characters with a blase attitude that bleeds into the page. Also, anyone who says that those who use curse words are uneducated have never felt "f**k the f****r" on their lips.
Nice set up for what ever is next to come.