AFTER THE SNOW FALLS:

MENTAL ELEMENTAL....

 

Starting out

Cold, and wet

Disorientated from rain drops clouding my binary vision

Collisions with the element that is bring me utter discomfort

Then

A freezing wind is given refuge during my time of passage

Snow...

Falling fast and hard

Covering every inch of my humanly frame

Not caring that I am in power on this planet

But

It covers me and is deceived by this stature

I am not inanimate

Nor am I a tree which is sturdy and can handle

The beauty, the pain, the foreboding of your nature

Seeking protection

None is found

Screaming for the constant downfall to subside

How much more will this fragile suit that drapes me bare?

 

My cries fall upon deaf ears

The whiteness of your beauty blinds me

Convinced

That nothing matters anymore

Given in to the frost bite of numbness

The fact that it has come and begun and is

 

Engulfed in a blizzard, no thoughts of my own

Pain and pleasure existing cohesively

Where does the ending begin and the beginning end?

Mental Death

Stinging the lids of the purest eyes

 

Asking , beseeching

Running crazily looking for the answers

Trying to find another color

When did I lose myself?

Where am I buried?

 

What became of me….

After the snow fell…

BABy©2011

Reviews

[MS. BABy]

hey there inyrdreams....thanks for being here and i hope you have been having an awesome week

[MS. BABy]

hello alex, your interpatation is just wonderful that is why i love writing everyone is correct..thanks for reading and enjoying

[Becky C Strukamp]

Such a solemn write, written beautifully. i loved it. Excellent delivery.

[Alexis]

Sad and beautiful. Your descriptions were great. I got two different outlooks on this poem.
The first being actually about the snow. It's beautiful, but dreadful. It's painfully cold but always nice to look at. Being caught in a blizzard outside would be quite terrible.
The second outlook would use the snow to describe someone. It throws all this coldness and cruelty at you to become your suit and it's what you carry around on your back and it just keeps coming and coming. The bitter cold is all of their harsh words and actions. You don't know when it'll end and it keeps getting worse.

Maybe my interpretations were not what you were thinking when you wrote this, but regardless, it was a great poem. Wonderful job! Thanks for sharing!

[MS. BABy]

[email protected] need and take all constructive critisim I am not the best grammar person I struggle with that thank you very much for it all and I shall make it smooth...smile...

[EMF]

OK. First the criticism. The comma between 'fragile' and 'suit' in line 19. The line would be smoother without it. Trust me. I'm pedantic. And that's it. One comma. The entire poem comma or not is brilliant. A perfect summation of slow wearing down. Nice to see the image of snow as the emmotinal aggressor. It works perfectly for anyone who has had to walk far in the stuff. It also nicely inverts our preconceptions of snow. It looks lovely, but is cold, damaging and its pressure breaks anything after time. The flow is perfect. The Imagry faultless, and if the only thing a person can mention is one comma, feel free to ignore them. I loved it and will be back for more

[MS. BABy]

THANKS CHRIS

[MS. BABy]

hello velvet thank u so much for encouraging me......

[VelvetRosetta]

Sadfully beautiful...a true pained piece of art.
Nicely done!