At Ease After Falling Hard From Grace (Revised Version 2)

It had been hard

Being at ease

After falling from grace

While living to please everyone

Became the treasured slogan

For gaining prestige and self esteem

Along the way

Auctioning off my true character

Foreshadowed me

As a waverer of my devoted emotions

For benefiting the overall well-being of others

A provocative caper

Empowered the highest bidder

Too partake in gaining my soul

Guarded by my genuine hearts desire

Savored as

Looking out for #1at all times

By having faith in a higher power

Keep my spirits from drifting into the abyss

From despair and loneliness

Due to falling hard from grace

Leaving a trace of evidence

As to what put me behind enemy lines

In the first place

Devious desires warrented into short term gains

Ranging from slander to laundering

The livelihoods of strangers

On paper

In order to strengthen

The deviled power-figure's

Stranglehold hold on me

For being an observer

In the field of play for holy self sacrificing

Reviews

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

I have to agree somewhat with kublakhan27 who reviewed below. I feel that way about your writing as well, not sure what to say though your writing is really good especially in vocabulary. As for this poem being revised I can't see much difference but that's just me not finding it. Again nice write for this poem.

[Lucy Morningstar &heart..]

nice fixes to the rough patches of the previous edition, I still love it!

[Joanna Johnson]

Good poem....have you thought of changing how you lay out your stanzas, that way your poems have more depthness, and not looking the same as the others. Other than that, I like it.

[kublakhan27]

I've always had a hard time reviewing your work, and I mean that in a complimentary way cuz your writing and your sentiments are so thoughtful and succinct that there is usually little left to say at the end...I think of you as a "poet's poet"...keep up the great work.

[Trigorin]

Much better. You've fixed those little areas that were a little rough without sacrificing the overall feel of the piece.