At Ease After Falling Hard From Grace

It had been hard

Being at ease

After falling from grace

While living to please everyone

Became the treasured slogan

For gaining prestige and self esteem

Along the way

Auctioning off my true character

Foreshadowed me

As a waverer of my devoted emotions

For benefiting the overall well-being of others

To this day

A provocative caper

Empowered the highest bidder

Too partake in gaining my soul

Guarded by my genuine hearts desire

Savored as looking out for #1 at all times

By having faith in a higher power

Keep my spirits from drifting into the abyss

Which had been closely shielded

From despair and loneliness

Due to falling hard from grace

Leaving a trace of evidence

As to what put me behind enemy lines

In the first place

Had been a temptation to enterprise

Devious desires into short term gains

That ranged from slander to laundering

The livelihoods of strangers

On paper

In order to strengthen

The deviled power-figure's

Stranglehold hold on me

For being an observer

In the field of play for holy self sacrificing

Reviews

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Nice one, I particularly found myself liking this part for some reason:'
"Keep my spirits from drifting into the abyss
Which had been closely shielded
From despair and loneliness
Due to falling hard from grace
Leaving a trace of evidence
As to what put me behind enemy lines"

[Lucy Morningstar &heart..]

this is really wonderful, and like a previous commenter noted, the vulnerability really shows through here. I absolutely loved this poem :D

[Robbie~xoxo~]

WOW! This took me to a place where I had to face my own reflection...like looking into a mirror. You have penned a riveting piece which hits so close to home...so close to my heart. I can envision the self sacrifice to please others, in spite of your own "devoted emotions". There is a vulnerablity underlining the raw truth to this, which is guarded, yet displayed honestly and touches the very core of human behavior. Excellent write, Bpoet!

[Trigorin]

This is really very good. The one thing I'd caution you on is to avoid overwriting - there's a few places which seem just a tad overwrought and it does somewhat ruin the effect a little. That being said, this is an absolutely fantastic piece and you have every right to be proud of it. You presented your message very clearly and you held the reader's attention through the whole piece. Very well done.

[Lily Mae]

I think you took a few pages from my diary and wrote this just for me lol.. Very poignant to my life right now..
You had me at the beginning with..."It had been hard
Being at ease
After falling from grace
While living to please everyone"...

You have a truth filled pen..and this is an amazing write..xo

[Emerald Seas]

There's a lot being said here, with a shield of sorts still up. Although, being one that has requested to see more depth and emotion in your work. I think this is the either most revealing work, or it is the most descriptive of a situation. There is an imaginary wall, that still makes me wonder if the writing is about yourself or just a shot at a topic that you've written with great care.

The subject is covered well, many people put up walls to protect themselves, tell half-truths, or misrepresent themselves or their past as a way of protection. Unfortunately that usually misfires and they find themselves more lonely and isolated than if they'd just spoken the truth or from the heart to begin with. Sometimes, a person can be their own worst enemy. As they say - the road to hell is paved with good intentions. You can run back to scripture, mass, or services all you want, but if you're still hiding a part of who you are from the world, or yourself, it comes around to teach you the lesson until you get it.

Great writing B, best I've read yet!