A Whisper In The Dark

I knew

Your time was drawing near

To tell you this

You must disappear from all of mankind

Like a mist within the fog

 

I thought

I heard a whisper

In the dark

So I’m thinking

What’s really gone wrong?

 

Oh it’s just my shadow

Unfortunately he had a lot to say

 

You’re living

To die

Only to live again

A shady deal from the beginning

So to win eternally

You can’t stay physically

The burial plots are vacant

On the burial ground within my cemetery

Let’s make a deal that’s sound

You only need to donate

Your entire body to my funeral home for a profound way

To become a ghost amongst the living

Too earn your spot at a designated burial plot

So you can get into the spiritual realm

It’s a much better place

And saving face for your reputation

As of now

Is a waste of time by all means

 

I asked

Well how do you know it's my time to go?

 

He whispered

You have nothing to show

For your toil

On earth

No deeds, no bank accounts, no wife, no family, no will, no self-worth

How can you possibly

Be happy

Your life is so absurd

A joke with no audience that needs to go unheard

 

I had to wonder

Why my shadow was dressed in black?

As I recognized how he choose to speak

I suddenly realized

It was the grim reap

Who came to take me away from

My so-called life

Disguised as a undone prophecy

My time was up and what a pity

I never really became who I thought I could be

Reviews

[kublakhan27]

A real thought-provoking read with a lot of good lines :) I love the "Your life...go unheard" part.

[Jazmen]

this was a good read.. only constructive ideas I have about it are that it was very capturing in the beginning.. as it was then followed by seemingly free thought/free writing.. it never lost its intrigue because your idea was deep and beautiful but I felt like it was ranting almost..then came the ending
"Disguised as a undone prophecy

My time was up and what a pity

I never really became who I thought I could be"

that rhyme in there is powerful! i like what you're driving at.
I'd say it's a great start to a masterpiece. just grind your thoughts here and make them come alive in this foggy, shadowy place you're in.
Nice work.