Fallen High Horse

Something that's on my mind, I wonder if any of you can figure out my meaning behind the words.

A sparkle of sunlight against a glimmering tear
Raining on the smooth cheaks of the innocent
Fearful of the sunset that beckons in the west.
A moonless sky lit by the stars shining bright,
A fallen angel plummeting to the hell below
From her high horse in heaven's fields
Now gone awry from the people who have
Let the anger and fear boil and fester within
Tarnishing its once glorious flora and fawna.
Karma ran amuck with the evils of man
Frowing with its stubborn unwillingness to
Simply disappear into the darkening night,
Wishing the dawn would break once again
With the safety of morning light.

Reviews

[ice]

Nice work, Brette.:-)
Perhaps the person here is feeling as young Arthur did ,when he left Merlins cave? His whole life was one of magic, and now he had to enter the dark places of grown up peoples lives.....a sort of falling from grace, if you will, that most all of us experience.
That's where this poem sent me, anyway..
ice

[Bennett Logan]

I really like the cadence of this poem, and your use of language is very subtle and smooth.

The transition between several lines, specifically 2/3 and 8/9, were a bit problematic for me, but breaking the lines differently or using additional punctuation, in my opinion, will solve that easily.

You have some fantastic imagery in here, especially your description of the stars lighting a moonless night. If you're thinking of making revisions, I think you could elaborate on this element and incorporate it more throughout the rest of the poem. But that's all I've got in the way of suggestions.

Everyone is going to read into a single poem on an individual level, obviously, but what I got out of this piece is the classic notion of lost innocense. The narrator describes someone who seems to have never noticed or experienced man's wrongdoings, but is made aware of them in a very dramatic and hurtful manner.

Good stuff.

Have a good one and definately keep up the good work!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

This is a very profound piece I see it as someone getting caught up in negativity allowing themselves to behind injected the disease brining them down to their level. Enjoyed this a lot.

[Lexy]

I don't get the title with your poem, but whatever. cheak is supposed to be cheek. Anyway, I enjoyed reading it.

[Annalisa]

This is lovely, I don't think I was able to catch your meaning behind the piece, the poem was a little too close to home with something that has been bothering me lately and I have a feeling that because it spoke so strongly to that dilemma of my own that I'm too biased to see what you meant to mean. That being said, this was beautiful, and poignant... Beautiful... I especially loved the lines:

"A fallen angel plummeting to the hell below
From her high horse in heaven's fields
Now gone awry from the people who have
Let the anger and fear boil and fester within"

[Nick Erickson]

To me, this is "man's" conceit, our fall from the beginning when we were in tune with each other and nature herself.
A very beautiful, thought provoking poem.
Well done!!!

[No]

i like this, i like this a lot.
it's very detailed,
and it will lose you if you're not smart enough to pick up the allusions,
and that's how poetry is supposed to be;
you have to be willing to think.

lovely.

[Dezaraye]

This is a moving piece, Brette. I think there are a lot of meanings. For me, it spoke of pride and the fall that comes from being prideful. Fallen from grace ...

[An owl on the moon]

Dark and moving, like deep water... Love the poetic allusion, moving us to consider war and to imagine a place of peace... Marvelous...

[Captain Blackheart (The..]

An very well written piece. There seams to be a lot of meaning within your words. The first two line captivated me, the tears of the innocent. Very well written.