Motion Sickness

another old one

 This white sun never had a care for us,

That same sun, never cast a shadow on me.

Living under burning trees,

 Ashes falling around us diligently,

Should we escape the embers of this flight?

Or burn more rapidly?

 

In motions we sway through the fibers of time,

Or, left in this singular moment of solitude?

Our only escape from this reality;  

The damning crack in the wall.

The first signs of existence,

Of vitality, now plagued by past sins.

 

Now we are left dancing on this bed of nails,

That lay only to crucify,

And thwart our freedom,

They chained and shackled us to our demise.

“How could you let this happen?

How come you left me like this?” she screams,

 

While the curse that is death,

 Still comes closer to us every day. 

Author's Note

about a year old... and not one of my favorites, but felt that i should post it

Reviews

[Eddie Phillips]

I love your poetry. It pulls a reader in. You have a great talent. I only started positing my writing 6 months ago. I was always weary of sharing my writing also. Never hide your gift. It is a blessing and it helps people in ways you may never know. the joy and illumination a poet brings to the world is immeasurable. It will not always be appreciated and may be ignored openly. However, it will never be castigated emotionally. It is the artist soul laid on paper and that can never be void. Keep writing and sharing.

[Azriel]

wow, thanks a lot eddie, your words are really honest and sincere, this really does inspire me to continue writing... i can't begin to express how grateful i am for these words... especially coming from someone as talented as yourself.

[JR Darewood]

I like the unconventional use of the sun as a negative symbol

[Azriel]

thank you... with the heat i'm experiencing it's hard not to view it negatively...

[Mockingbird]

very apocalyptic in imagery. i think death would be a blessing if i had to live in a world like this. i like the ritualistic aspects of this piece. also brings to mind questions about immortality. great job.

[Azriel]

thank you for your review, also im glad you picked up on the questions about immorality...

[.]

~ i think you should post all that you've written... you're a natural... and it's always great to read you...

~ about this piece... i think the title-concept is brilliant for describing the manner in which we sometimes experience life... ~ i was in this place sometime back... i used to think that time is running out... i used to panic... ~ then i started reading poetry... i read so much... that i reached a place of peace inside... ~ i don't fear death any more... not because i have achieved a lot or something... but just because i've accepted life... and i try and live in the moment... ~ still... i know this place you describe... you capture the essence of how it feels in very poetic terms... i lived in this place... for a long, long time...

~ reading this poem is an incredible experience because it sort of gives me an idea of the distance i've covered between then and now... ~ so, thank you for this post... :)

[Azriel]

wow serah you always have the nicest words to tell me, so thank you for your support. im glad you were able to relate to this, and also the reason i posted this piece specifically was because that it too helps remind me how much i've grown since i wrote it.
i have a lot of poems maybe around 40 or so, but they need editing and formatting and stuff, so eventually they will get all posted. but nevertheless thank you.

[.]

~ well... i have exquisite taste in poetry... and i don't believe in being secretive when i chance upon true talent... ~ so, you're very welcome... :)