O'Malley: Los Angeles

O'Malley can't escape his past, as trouble's come back to haunt him in this daring adventure.

The year is 1966. It is November and the Dodgers have been in Los Angeles for eight years now. Walter O’Malley has made a fortune from the move to Los Angeles. The Dodgers have had a great deal of success so far in Los Angeles. They have won three World Series titles already (1959, 1963, and 1965). O’Malley is sitting happy. His decision to move the Dodgers out of Brooklyn looks genius at this point, but something fishy is lurking just over the horizon.

            The sun has set on this Wednesday night and the moon was all smiles. The moon was brighter than ever. There’s a full moon and they say strange things occur on full moons. O’Malley leaves his office and gets into his spanking new flashy car. He turns the ignition on and the roar of the vehicle turns him on. He lowers his windows and drives toward the freeway. The wind sways throughout his car as he drives. He blows by the other cars on the road, not because he’s in a hurry but because he can. He switches lanes passing cars with extreme danger. O’Malley notices a vehicle following close behind. He moves into right lane and slows down fearing it may be a cop. The stocking vehicle does the same. O’Malley now knows this is no cop following him. O’Malley glances at his side mirrors and catches the sight of a pistol from the following vehicle. A shot is fired at O’Malley’s back windshield. O’Malley is infuriated by this senseless act. He then slams down on the gas to pull away from his stocker. The following car mimics every movement made by O’Malley. Shots continue being shot at O’Malley’s awesome car. O’Malley can’t believe they would shoot his beautiful car.

            “Hell with it, they’ve made enough holes in my car. I’ll just have to buy another one.” O’Malley thinks to himself. O’Malley opens his side door and dives out onto the gregarious freeway. His car goes crashing and flipping rambunctiously through the freeway. The car explodes and flames fill the night. He gets on his feet swiftly and dives into the air toward the following vehicle. Time seems to slow down. O’Malley braces himself and crashes through the car’s windshield. He lands in the back seat perfectly and pulls out his katana. Prepared to apply his sword to the stalkers neck but the stalker is gone. The vehicle’s door is open and O’Malley is startled, but only for half a second. O’Malley sees that the car is about to make impact with the pile up he basically started. He reacts by kicking and removing his side door. He must get out now or his life could end at this very moment. He dives out just in time, but two speeding vehicles attempting to stop swerve his way.  He dives between both vehicles grabs the bumper and launches himself towards the side of the freeway. He lands smoothly, one knee to the ground and one arm out holding his katana. Suddenly one of the cars that missed him is cut in half and explodes violently. O’Malley sliced through a car to make his safe getaway.  The victims will understand it was for good cause. O’Malley ponders who might have that stalker been. As he does, more vehicles crash into the pile up causing lots of noise and waking the bears. Explosions and fire spread through the freeway like marijuana spreads through high school. Then it dawns on him. There are only two people he knows who could have done this.

            O’Malley must first call for aid. He calls Sandy Koufax. Super Jew as they called him was the Dodgers mighty southpaw pitcher. They had been in several battles together before. Like the battle for Pasadena when three crazed sword-men went on an assassination spree. Koufax and O’Malley prevented their killing spree from continuing. They battled for hours until O’Malley finally knocked the last guy out. That battle left Koufax injured though. Many thought it was the constant pitching that ailed his pitching elbow but it was that battle that did Koufax in.  So O’Malley knew he could trust him. Super Jew agrees to give O’Malley aid. O’Malley told him that some person followed him and caused a pile up. That made Koufax depressed, despondent, woeful, and other synonyms for sad. Koufax tells O’Malley they’ll meet up in Dodgers Stadium in one week’s time.

            Koufax and O’Malley meet up in center field at Dodger Stadium. Koufax is always dependable in the key situations. He found out that the person who followed O’Malley was from New York. Finally it appeared they were on the right track. The night is cold and dark. The moon is not as bright it was the week before. The stars have had a brake out in the sky, like a boy hitting puberty. The stadium is empty and hollow, like a teenager dying inside. The speakers suddenly get activated around the stadium. Ominous laughing flows through the stadium. Koufax and O’Malley gander all around the stadium but see no one. Koufax and O’Malley are back to back. They start walking in opposite directions when the stalker appears between them. Koufax turns to notice and right when he was about to enlighten O’Malley, Koufax was pile driven to the ground. The stalker clearly has a great deal of speed. O’Malley turns to see Koufax on the ground thriving in pain but no stalker. Koufax tells O’Malley to watch his back! The stalker stands behind O’Malley. The stalker attempts a punch but O’Malley ducks and kicks the stalker to the center field wall. The stadium lights flash on. O’Malley is shocked of whom he sees.

            “I can’t believe it. I didn’t think it was actually you. I thought this stalker was way too powerful to be you. You’ve been training well.” O’Malley states. The stalker was the handsome gentleman from eight years back. He has a far more expensive suit now. His top hat is obsolete compared to others. The gentleman smirks but says nothing more. He tosses his top hat to the side like only a gentleman can and extracts a new weapon from his repertoire. The gentleman pulls out what appears to be a handle to a sword. Then he clicks a button on it and boom! Tough Actin’ Tinactin. The gentleman has a light saber. A bright red light saber. Lucky for O’Malley, his new katana has a light saber option. So they both have light sabers. Koufax oddly enough has one too. Funny, what are the chances?

            Koufax and O’Malley have their Dodger Blue light sabers ready for battle. Just like old times Koufax tells O’Malley. O’Malley warns that this may be their most difficult battle of all. The gentleman’s power has surpassed the power of the mighty Robert Moses. The gentleman charges and swings his saber around. Koufax and O’Malley block the swings. They can’t seem to attack back; they’re too slow compared to the gentleman. Battle they do, for hours and hours. The sunrise is coming. That’s what she said. Koufax and O’Malley are finally able to attack hours into their battle. They chase the gentleman around the field. The gentleman throws a right hook and lands it on O’Malley’s right cheek. O’Malley goes flying toward the backstop and crashes into it harshly. The gentleman then thrashes Koufax with a series of punches and throws Koufax into the left field pavilion seats. Koufax hits the seat violently sending him into a state of constant pain. O’Malley rushed to assist Koufax but was close-lined before he got the chance. Close-lined back into the backstop. The wall cracks and crumbles into tiny pieces. O’Malley’s vision is fuzzy at this point. All he sees is a blurry gentleman standing over him. The gentleman picks O’Malley up by his shirt, in doing so, he flexed his beautiful muscles. O’Malley and Koufax were being out muscled by the handsome gentleman. O’Malley attempts some useless punches that the gentleman doesn’t even bother blocking. The gentleman throws O’Malley into the dark night like a ragdoll. The gentleman flips acrobatically forward onto the solid field grass and shoots a shot of forceful wind at O’Malley just before he hit the ground. And that sends O’Malley to the center field wall. He goes through the wall and crashes onto the other side. The gentleman pulls out his familiar brobdingnagian-sized sword out. He sprints to O’Malley’s position. Picks O’Malley off the ground and tosses him into the outfield. O’Malley is barely conscious at this point. The gentleman lifts his sword high in the air. Closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath. He opens his eyes and yells like a hyena. He strikes down with a surplus of force.

            “No!” Yells Koufax.  Koufax flies in from out of nowhere and gets in the way of the blade. Koufax’s left arm has been sliced off. He has temporarily saved O’Malley’s life. Koufax falls to the side crying in pain. And Tom Hanks walks in from out of the blue and tells Koufax there’s no crying in baseball. Then he departed. O’Malley is awakened by Koufax’s heroics. O’Malley is inspired. A burst of energy spreads out from O’Malley’s body. He stands to face the beautiful man with the beautiful hand. O’Malley sprints toward the gentleman faster than the gentleman’s reactions. O’Malley socks the gentleman across the face. Blood flies out from his mouth. O’Malley follows the gentleman’s fall and kicks him in the face. The gentleman flies into the air and is stopped cold when he flies straight into the foul pole. The long fall from the flag pole is the needle that popped Jessica Simpson’s brain. O’Malley stands over the gentleman and simply leaves him there. The gentleman is knocked unconscious. O’Malley hurries to Koufax and rushes him to his private hospital.

            A couple weeks later, Sandy Koufax is on national television announcing his official retirement from baseball. Pitching with so much pain through so many years was too much ware and tare for his elbow. He could no longer pitch. Little did everyone know that the arm Koufax has is fake. His elbow didn’t falter because of so much pitching but rather that he was battling evil. Koufax may not be Super Jew anymore, but he sacrificed himself for the cause. O’Malley made sure Koufax would be treated well for the rest of his life.

            The gentleman was never seen again. He has fled somewhere to hide away his shame. Fearing that O’Malley would finish him off one day. Though the gentleman left a curse written in a different language on the field of Dodger stadium. The curse is said to give the Dodgers a thirty year drought before they can win another world series again. It’s been twenty nine years now since their last World Series title. This is the year they become champions again.