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Jimmy no longer lives in a box. He has put away his socks and pet fox. He no longer plays with toy blocks and has set aside his dislike of jocks. But he still loathes crocs by the docks. Jimmy needs his fine clothing and being just adequate isn’t adequate. He owns a suave fedora that is darker than a moonless night. He warms his upper body with a leather jacket that can intimidate any ruthless thug on the street. It glows pitch black in the day and becomes a cloak in the darkness of the cold and bitter evenings. His t " shirts are often diverse but most of them advertise rock bands. The Misfits have the honor today. Jimmy refuses to leave the premises of his home without a comfortable and stylish set of black slacks. Are we sensing a color pattern yet? Of course he would also own a pair of black dress boots; used to stomp his enemies . . . like spiders.

After departing from the underground jungle of Afghanistan, he and Lucy decide to take a vacation. Everything appears dandy and gay. Jimmy had finally found what he was searching for; love. They go down to sunny Cancun, Mexico!

They book an expensive hotel on the beach and . . . play lots of board games for hours on end. But every time Jimmy goes down to the hotel bar, a breath-taking woman with a perfect figure would also be there. Go figure. xD. Her stare penetrates Jimmy's inner thoughts. Those eyes of hers only mean mischief, in the way a woman can slowly wither a man away into dust. The woman approaches Jimmy with utter confidence that would make most men break into a cold sweat. But not Jimmy; No this is not the first time he’s been approached by a beautiful women. He must use his back bone and kindly reject the perfectly figured lady. He gathers himself and readies for battle. The room shrinks in size; Jimmy observes nothing around but the perfectly figured lady. Everything else is just noise filling the void while she unhurriedly creeps toward him. She begins to speak but Jimmy quickly cuts her off.

"I WILL NEVER WANNA DATE YOU, WHILE I CAN LEARN TO HATE YOU! BUT SOMEHOW YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED THAT IM NOT A S**T! I DON'T WANNA F**K YOU! SO F**K YOU!” Jimmy says with kindness. Her expression is less. There is something very unordinary about this woman. The lady walks away without breathing a word. "Think that went well." Jimmy muttered to himself.

Jimmy approaches the bar in dire search of some frivolous wine. He then orders two glasses of their finest white wine. ”It’s gotta be Chardonnay.” Jimmy is handed the two glasses of wine by a man with a beautiful hand.

“Celebrating?” The bartender asks with a heavy English accent.

“Yes I am. How do you do?” Jimmy genuinely responds.

“My name is Atlas. Sir Charles Atlas. I’m at your service. I just want to let you know that everyone is not who they appear to be. Be careful out here, I hear there are formidable people that mean to do harm to the innocent. You see Mr. Beard I am a friend to a certain degree.  I am part of a vast organization called the Theory of Revolution. If you seek to be greater than yourself you will need to contact a particular man. This man works in at a bar called the Crop Tub in California. But you will have to take the “test” before you can proceed. If you’re a perfect fit then you will be more than ready for veracity. The truth will set you free Mr. Beard. Here take this as a token of my respect.” Charles hands Jimmy a folder and then he departs to the backroom of the bar where only employees are allowed. Jimmy observes the folder with intense curiosity. The folder has a title, “FILE 13”. The folder fills Jimmy with anxiety. The time is 9:11pm. The night is young and he decides to not open the folder.

Jimmy heads back up to his luxurious hotel room thinking just how wonderful the night will be. He brushes off the restless thoughts Charles Atlas threw his way. Everything has become better, and he no longer has worries. His mind has discovered peace through happiness, and life is in cruise control.

Ding! The elevator doors slide open. Jimmy reaches floor level 13 in the hotel. The hall appears sinister. A light at the end of the hall is flickering with agitation. The hotel floor creaks like a dying giraffe with every step he takes. As he progresses toward the room he notices a half " empty bottle on the floor. It was Jimmy’s favorite beer brand, Modern Epic. His eyes gaze from the bottle to the door knob; it appears to have a stain. A peculiar scent exudes into Jimmy’s nostrils. The door is slightly open and Jimmy’s mood begins to sour with concern. He opens up the door and then shock . . . The perfectly figured lady is standing over Lucy; And not in a good way. The room is cluttered over what was clearly a struggle between Lucy and the perfectly figured lady. The only window in the room is open; the curtains are blowing in from the zephyr. Lucy appears lifeless.

"Love is a many splendored thing." The lady says. Before the distress could leave Jimmy's body, the perfect figured lady leaps out of the window with no hesitation. Jimmy runs over to the window to peer out. She was gone but how?

"What is she Batman?" Jimmy rushes over to Lucy. She's pale, and not because she's white, but moreover to the fact that she's pretty dead. Jimmy yells "No!" in a very dramatic fashion.

Reviews

[Hannah]

Hey Azulberry!
This reads to me like a very detailed screenplay. I get a "Pushing Daisies" feel from it. I don't know if you ever watched that show, but it was quirky and hilarious. Like this. I'm intrigued after reading this, to find out where this conflict goes. What is so important about Jimmy that you chose to tell this story. I love the quirkiness of Jimmy; with his beard, suave fedora, and his quick humor. And the mysterious Charles Atlas presenting him with this "quest" of sort. Excellent start to what appears to be an action filled short story. Cool character choice with Jimmy, already a character death, a strange super human hottie, off to a good start. Keep going.

Some stuff I noticed:
His t " shirts- his t-shirt
HeAfter departing from the underground- After departing the underground
But not Jimmy; No this is not the first- But not Jimmy. No, this is not the first
You see Mr. Beard I am a friend to a certain degree. -You see, Mr. Beard, that I am a friend to a certain degree.
Jimmy yells "No!" in a very dramatic fashion- Jimmy yells, "NO!" in a very dramatic fashion.