Mid-Morning Latte

Expect the Unexpectedeargodisthatanexplosive?

        

People around saw it and began to run. You know, in that way that you see in the movies where everyone looks at something, gets terrified and runs away at the same time. A human stampede, directed to anywhere but here. As for me, I glanced down at the object, then returned to my coffee. Sure there was a live grenade on the table, but I had more pressing problems.

"Is this REALLY nonfat?" I questioned of the newly absent barista.

My companion, in whose possession the pin of said grenade belonged, held the grenade lever firmly against the table. Though his face was obscured by the local food section, I could hear the sounds of biscotti munching emanating from his mustacioed mouth.

"Local Bakery best Laxative in Town," he read, almost as if announcing it to some deranged studio audience.

He then folded up his newspaper, placed it on the table and stood up.

"What?" I inquired, "It seemed a fair enough review."

The remainder of his biscotti was put into his mouth and his grenade into my drink.

"Bon Appetit."

As he left, I threw the grenade, as well as the rest of my Grande Double Shot Latte, behind the counter. When it exploded a few seconds later, I was treated to a hail of plaster and cardboard.

In response, I dusted off my suit and remarked,

"Nobody likes a critic."

Author's Note

I am sure I am misspelling biscotti.

Reviews

[Que]

This is very amusing. It must be the complete... unhumorous way the whole situation was handled. And using the ever popular line, "Nobody likes a critic," to wrap the whole thing up just had me busting a gut. Everyone likes a classic!

Hope it was meant to a humorous piece...

Biscotti is spelled right but it's, "mustachioed."