Emme, my buddy

Just to a silly friend who just created his own poet forum

Bewere emma, you're messiah,
And you uplifted me and take me higher,

Though the process was disharten,
Thou the way was depressing.

But alas! You abide in faith,
And thus, everything turn right,

You made me feel good and bright,
Like a hungry lion with a huge rat,

Life accepted our offer,
By making us to know other,

Alas!! Bewere, we will be the pillar,
Of this poetic room and healler,

Author's Note

For you, silly friend, wish you good in unilorin

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

"But alas! You abide in faith,
And thus, everything turn right,

You made me feel good and bright,
Like a hungry lion with a huge rat,"

[Eric Pudalov]

This, too, is beautifully written, Ayo! It sounds very much like a song to me when I read it; some poetry naturally has that effect. And I must admit it's quite a bit more lighthearted than the previous poem I read!

If I may, I have a few critiques about the spelling (unless it was done on purpose, of course). "Bewere" would normally be spelled "beware"; however, if you spelled it that way to represent an accent, then it is certainly correct!

I would say the same of "disharten" in the third line. If you intended to spell it "disheartening," it's not "technically" correct, but I got a sense that you were representing a certain style of speech, like the Nigerian accent, so if that's the case, then leave it.

And in the second to last line, where you wrote "Bewere," I could also see how you might be representing a speaking style, so if it was intentional, leave it. But if you were trying to be technically correct, then it should be spelled "beware."

Forgive me, I tend to be nitpicky with spelling and grammar, because I really want to help my fellow poets improve! And by no means am I perfect myself; I've had many a grammar lesson over the years. Thank you for sharing, and I definitely look forward to reading more!!!

[ayosonolowo]

Thanks alot and i am going to correct myself

[Eric Pudalov]

You're welcome! Keep up the great work...in spite of the spelling stuff, it's still an awesome poem.

[Sami Khalil]

"You made me feel good and bright,
Like a hungry lion with a huge rat,"

That was funny and nice ...I like this tribute to your silly friend as you call him...:).................

[ayosonolowo]

Thank you.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)..............