The humble

I wrote this to to advise my self when a friend betrays me

Many was asked to come
but they refuse












the proud felt too big
to come







but he the only; humble
one came








he was told but he
never mind








he saw his self; bleeding
helplessly yet he never mind







he saw powerless creature
punishing him







he saw the crown
he saw the calamity ahead






he saw the advantage
and the disadvantage







but he still came; for me
and you






he came fatherless
but through a female







he came with
much mission







he came to save us
but atlast he was killed






he saved me and show
me the right path









but yet he was
crusified





we're tormenting him
but yet he's helping me








but we never consider
all this






and we went ahead
and kill him





he never got angry
rather he keep to protect me






and the proud
was casted away






now he is the destroyer
and the humble






is the helper; how i wish
i could be like him

Author's Note

Please what did you think







good or do i make mistake?

Reviews

[Rogue]

I think you told this story well through the prose.
Creatively capturing an important journey.
"crusified" should be crucified.


Well done! :)

[Motivation4Life]

The overall poem was very good, deep and powerful! You are creative. There are grammatical errors in lines. 1 and 2, 7 and 8, 9. 10, 11 and 12. Otherwise good work! Keep it up!

[ayosonolowo]

Thanks alot motivation
thank for correcting me

[ayosonolowo]

Am gonna delete for now
before i adjust thos errors