Well to be honest it's the best poem I've read so far today!
:D
Not sure I can make any suggestions on how to improve it...
Other than changing the line "all alone." to "no longer alone"
and that's probably one of my worst suggestions I've ever offered :L
I like it! The words had a way that forced you into imagining, and I loved the innocent tone!! The flow wasn't as great as I would've liked, but don't mind me. Lovely poem. Keep going!
When I read this, you've pulled in into an outer body experience with your concise, but accurate way to bring me into the poem.
It has an innocence to it that causes me to think fantasy, but a reality to it that makes me think "I can see this happening".
Great job Anysley!
It has a very comforting tone to it. I like poems that seems to express a persons fantasy world and bring to other people. Not saying that this is fantasy because it can very well happen. I mean fantasy as in the traditional fairytale happy endings that make people laugh and cry and just feel good inside that everything is alright. good peom!
I like it, but I think "Yes, now lets toast!" should be its own line. It would go better with the flow you've established through the poem. Otherwise, very cute, great work :)
Hello my name is Aynsley, but you can call me Amy.
I love to review other peoples' writing, so send me a message requesting a review, and wala!
I'm quite a shy person. And I guess I always will.. more..