The Descision

My eyes opened as I awoke. It was a new day. Sadly.. I thought to myself. What was I going to do? I couldn't possibly kill the one I loved so much; or either my own sister of the age of ten. She had so much to live for, but Hamish was everything to me. My heart raced wildely as I could faintly see someone approching. It was him, no, not Hamish.. my boss. He held in his hand a rusted dagger, with blood stains; that looked so fresh it scared me

"Good morning." He smiled, in an evil way. "How are you?" 

"Cut the chat!" I spat back. "Let's just get this over and done with!" I hissed. He smiled.

"Very well."

Both of us walked into the bottom dungeon where my true love, and sister awaited. I looked down, and felt a pint of guilt. How am I going to do it? How am I going to kill Hamish?

I looked at him with pity, and he knew it was him. I was so sad that it'd come to this. I never wanted this to happen. All I wanted was to live a normal life; to be a normal girl, but I and everyone else, knew that could never happen.

I was different. Only Lea and Hamish knew what I really was; and that was not human. Not one tiny bit. I was an immortal, I could live forever, when I was younger I was in science class working on an experiment when it all went wrong, and til this day, I have never age'd.

Hamish dosen't really mind me being different, he kinda likes me being young, bold and beautiful. But now, if I kill him today, I will live forever, with a loss so terrible, I wouldn't want to live at all.

My eyes stung with such terror, tears where rolling down my face, and I couldn't bring myself to look up at any of them. It hurt so much. I don't know how I'm going to do this.

Mr. Luano gave me the rusted dagger and nodded. It was time. I closed my eyes and imagined what it was like a week ago, being at school, and just having fun! I had thrown so many sleep overs, had so much memories, I wouldn't want to waste.

I finally took a peek glance at Hamish. His eyes were watering with tears, I created. I faintly smiled; trying to keep myself calm, but inside I was really dieing of pain. Lea looked towards me, almost about to scream, I didn't want to make her feel so much terror.. and to think it was all to waste. Since it wasn't her.

It was never her. And she will always be in my life. All this time I knew it had to be Hamish; and he knew it had to be him. I took a few steps closer, and said my goodbyes, to both of them. Because basictly, afterwards I had killed Hamish, I would escape with Lea, get her home, and take my own life; it was for the best.

But at that point in time I remembered, nothing could kill me; noone could. I titled my head upwards to see the sorrow in their faces. Someone was going to have to die. And it wasn't going to be them.

I sighed mournfully and took a deep breath, looking Hamish in the eye, I stared at him for a while, praying I'd make the right decision, and held the knife to his throat. Mr. Luano cleared his throat.

"Do it already Eva!" He laughed. I looked Hamish in the eye one last time. I tightened my grip on the dagger, and slashed it into Mr. Luanos heart, and said..

"But ohh, Mr. Luano, I already have!" And smirked as I pulled it out of his chest to expose a gush of blood. I looked around to see if Lea was watching, but luckily Hamish had covered her eyes.

" Babe.." He cried out, reaching for me.

"I love you" I whispered to him, embracing him in my arms... life was fine now, and nothing was going to stop me from living it to the fullest.

Apart from one thing, Hamish will continue to age, every living second; well I, will never. The thought haunted me..

Reviews

[~*_Michelle_*~]

This lost my interest in and out, so can you work on that for me? Add more description. Otherwise, bravo.

[L.I. Black]

A few things out of place, but I think Sky covered most of that.
It's another good chapter, keeps the interest.

[Ruth]

Another interesting chapter:) This is going to be a good novel:)
There are some tense moments in this one!
Excellent work love
xx

[Mary Evans]

Interesting development. I would spend more time on the twist in the end, add more details and such, though.

As for the usually critique (ignore the number its just minor stuff):

"My eyes opened as I awoke." Sounds weird. I don't know, i think its the "as" connection that is the problem. Anyhow i advice you to rephrase it.

"I couldn't possibly kill the one I loved so much; or either my own sister of the age of ten." Here again it sounds a bit off to me. try paraphrasing the second part of the sentence.

"My heart raced wildely as I could faintly see someone approching." The two typos, and the "as" connections seems out of place again.

"He smiled, in an evil way." I think "he grinned" might be much better to express this.

"if I kill him today" Yo're writing in past tense so this is kind of illogical to say. Try substituting "today" with something else. I've noticed you switched the tenses around there, be careful with that.

"His eyes were watering with tears, I created." Couldn't get the meaning of the last part.

You tend to write odd sentences so be careful not to lose the meaning.

Otherwise good work with this chapter.

[Rain]

this chapter was more detailed than the last, so good job
hehe, nice twist in the end, adds to the drama
a few grammar mistakes, though these can be fixed
continue on reading...

[Marlena]

Also dramatic xD I like this because you're putting a lot of emotion into it, but the grammar errors are taking away from it. Try looking over your work after you finish (I tend to wait an hour and then go back to see if there's anything I missed or can improve on). Good work though, it's definitely a start :)

[Aynsley]

Thanks for your reviews! You help so much!! :)

[FairyTalePrincess]

Hello Aynsley,
In this chapter, I like the way you have tried to use alot of decription, yes a few grammar mistakes, but who cares? People arn't perfect. Anyway, you are a very skilled young writer. And honestly I was on the edge of my chair for this chapter! If you have any friends who'd like me to review them, please introduce me. You're friend, .

[KeSha]

yeahh some incorrect spelling, but you are really talented.

[Dorryy]

Wow another great chapter. Few mistakes but its good! Keep up the good work, lets see what the next chapter brings.