I want...

A poem I wrote several years ago.

I don't want to be what I seem like.
I don't want to be what people expect me to be.
I don't want to be good, and be driven to the excessiveness of perfection.
I want to be me.

The girl who is thought of as crazy,
a girl who may too talk to much,
 a girl who will try harder at making someone laugh than on a test.

I want to be known as what I want to be.
I want to figure out so many things about everything but specially.. me
I want the world to know that they don't know my limits,
they don't understand my goals
... they don't know me...

Because honestly I don't think I even know myself.

I lack in the department of confidence.
I lack in the "department" of saying what is on my mind.
I lack in the department of bravery.

I'm fearful.
I fear the fact of rejection, change, but most importantly pain.
I fear the opinion of the world.
I fear the opinion that may make me seem as someone I am not:
Someone that I try so hard in not becoming.

I fear the world
I even fear trust,
because trust leads to opening yourself up and telling the complete truth
And truth is I'm scared to show the real me.

I fear myself.

I am so determined to show the world who I am
yet I dont even comprehend what is going on inside my head.

I want to be known as what I am but... honestly
I'm afraid of knowing who I truly am

I'm afraid of figuring out that this is truly me

Author's Note

I need honest opinions on this one, fixed it up a little but its not quite there.

Reviews

[dakarai]

Powerful truth. Great expression. In some way, shape, or for more everyone wants the world to see them through their own eyes. This gives them the freedom to just "BE." To be less than perfect...to be flawed is to be human...I felt how sincere your words were.

[Carmen]

Thank you, I appreciate you taking time to analize my work.

[dakarai]

You are very welcome. Yesterday was my first day on this site. I posted some sonnets that I wrote for another site. I would love to hear what you think of them.

[Meraki]

What I read in the beginning was a person full of determination and the closer I got to the end the person behind the wall became more open vulnerable and afraid to know the truth, that in itself made the person brave. In my opinion this poem is there maybe a stronger ending or something to leave the reader thinking. Unfortunately I don't know what that is, but your poem is great the way it is.

[Carmen]

Thank you for reading and your feedback i'll definitely keep that in mind.