Innocent as a Dove

An old bum dies and his will specifies that his enemy is to receive a special gift.

For most of them, it was a formality. There wasn’t much: an old Schwinn bicycle, a jar full of silver dollars, and the keys to an abandoned storage unit. The first two items went to his only son, Jeff. There was one stipulation, though, that stunned the handful of people present at the reading of Gilbert Byrd’s will. It stated that there was merchandise in a storage unit outside of town which was to go to a certain banker, Clarence Jacobson, and which would settle any debts.

This came as a shock because Clarence (who was not present) had a reputation for being a fraudulent banker. Rumor had it that Gilbert had once taken out a loan for a house but did not read the fine print. The bank eventually foreclosed on his house and he lost everything, and yet somehow still owed money. But this had been long forgotten…at least by Clarence. When he was contacted by the lawyer in charge of Gilbert’s will, Clarence could not help hiding his confusion�"

“What was the guy’s name again?”

“Gilbert…Gilbert Byrd” the lawyer said with a blank face “Apparently he felt like he owed you something.”

Clarence raised an eyebrow as he looked at the address on the card.

“This place is 45 minutes outside of town…are you sure he didn’t mean a different Clarence?”

The lawyer shook his head. “No, he said specifically the banker Clarence Jacobson. He was probably afraid of you coming after his son, so he wanted to finish paying his debts.”

A slender grin crept up on Clarence’s face as he began to remember the first time he met Gilbert so many years ago.

The sun seemed extra bright that day and the sky was perfectly clear except for a few cotton-ball clouds. Clarence had just stepped in the door of the bank when a small man, probably in his mid-forties, ran up to meet him. The man wore paint-stained overalls and had work boots on that seemed to have a small island of dirt on each one. His hair was slicked back, as if he were going somewhere nice, and his smile took up the entire bottom half of his face.

“Howdy Mr. C!” Gilbert said excitedly “I was told you were the man to talk to if I wanted a loan cuz guess what? I’m gettin’ me a house!”

“That’s awesome Gil” Clarence said as he quickly turned to unlock the door to his office so that Gilbert wouldn’t see him laugh. He had actually met Gilbert before, but their encounters were so brief that Clarence never really knew him until that day. Gilbert had previously done some landscaping work for him which is what Gil did for a living…if one can call it a living. It was more like a staying-alive. Gilbert barely had enough money to pay for the rent on his shack, let alone buy a house.

Gil was a dreamer though. Every time Gil did some work for Clarence, he would always say, “Mr. C, one day I’m gonna have a house as big as this one” then he would pause, smile really big, and continue “After all, I gotta have somewhere to put all my stuff!” Gilbert would laugh, but Clarence usually just smiled. This was a joke on Gilbert’s part because he didn’t have much. After the war, he had to sell most of what he owned to pay for his medical expenses. Gilbert had always been somewhat of a mystery to Clarence because his cheery disposition didn’t align with his poor circumstances. Clarence knew Gil had some mental difficulties though, so he tried to keep a certain amount of distance from Gil. However, this time there was no avoiding the excited little man standing in front of his desk.

After listening for a few minutes to Gilbert ramble on about his plans �" about how he was going to get this ‘big house’ for him and his son �" Clarence finally interrupted,

“I think you have some great aspirations Gilbert, really great plans and all, but you know houses like the one you’re describing cost a lot of money and I don’t mean to be nosy, but I don’t think…”

“You don’t think I have the money” Gil said while scooting closer to Clarence’s desk “Well think again Mr. C!”

Gilbert threw some papers down on Clarence’s desk. Clarence pulled his glasses from the collar of his shirt and took a few seconds to read over what Gilbert seemed to be so proud of.

Clarence’s eyes widened as he read the amount at the bottom of the second page�"

“five hundred thousand dollars…Gil where did you get…this can’t be right”

“Oh, it is” Gilbert said as he leaned back in his chair. Clarence reached for the telephone. Within a few hours there were three bank executives, a handful of lawyers, two forensic document examiners, and even the county judge �" all crammed into Clarence’s office. Several police officers stood outside trying to keep the swelling crowd in check (news spreads fast in a small town) even though they were attracting more attention then they were diverting.

“It’s not foraged” said the man with the shiny head

“But that amount can’t be right” the voice sounded like Clarence’s

“The records indicate that this is the correct amount and the judge can verify their court appearance.”

A moment of silence ensued. Finally, one of the document examiners got up and started to put on his coat.

“Where are you going?” one of the bank executives asked harshly

“Home” the man said with a hint of anger in his voice

“What!” the executive blew up “You can’t go home! we’ve got to prove that this is fake or…”

“It’s not fake” the document examiner said bluntly “Your bank owes Gilbert every penny of that five hundred thousand”

“But don’t you see? we don’t have that kind of money around here. It’s not like we can just abra-cadabra five hundred thousand”

“Well you need to abra-cadabra something real quick or Gilbert could sue you until you’re as broke as he is.”

The document examiner walked out the door and tipped his hat to Gilbert who was sitting outside, watching everything with amusement. Soon the other men followed, and the crowds dissolved. Clarence and the three bank executives stayed in the room until nightfall. There was a lot of yelling and fists hitting tables until Clarence finally gave what appeared to be a short speech and held up some papers. Two of the other men shook their heads, but the third said softly “it’s worth a try, after all, we’ve got nothing to lose.”

“Except the bank” one of the other men muttered as he reached for his coat

“He’ll see through that” said another

Finally, everything was like it was at the beginning. Clarence was alone in his office, tapping his pen on the desk. Gilbert was sitting outside in a big chair. Clarence got up and stood in the doorway staring at the floor�"

“Hey Gilbert” Clarence spoke softly “we uh…we have come to a…”

Clarence looked up as he heard the loud snoring. Gilbert was out cold.

“Gilbert!” Clarence yelled as he let out some frustration.

Gilbert jumped up and looked around the room and then at the large clock hanging on the wall.

“Oh, I’ve got to be going, my son’s probably wondering where…”

“Just hold on a second” Clarence walked back in his office and grabbed some papers

“What are these?” Gilbert said curiously as Clarence handed them to him

“This is an agreement I have come up with…”

“So I’m getting my money right?”

“Yes” Clarence struggled as he spoke “Just not right away. You see the bank only has…”

“Well I need at least fifty-thousand today so I can get that house”

“But that’s not how banks work Gil” Clarence said in an almost fatherly voice “Now here’s what we can do, and I think you’ll like this”

“What?” Gilbert’s face narrowed

“The bank and I are prepared to give you a low-interest loan of fifty thousand so that you can buy that house. This is good for you because you get the house and you can use the interest from the five-hundred thousand to pay off the loan. That way you don’t have to even take any money out of the trust.”

“Why can’t I just buy the house out-right” Gilbert said almost demandingly

“You will be buying the house outright” Clarence replied with a soft grin “it’s just that this way is faster and easier �"” he started to say something else, but suddenly paused, put a hand on Gil’s shoulder, and continued affirmingly “and really, it’s the only way we can get your money.”

 

 

“Now I just need you to sign right here and then I can give you the keys” the lawyer said as he interrupted Clarence’s daydream.

“Oh, Gilbert could never be able to pay off what he owes me, and if he left anything of value to his son, it’s going to be mine once I get my team on it.”

The lawyers face dropped several inches from its already lowered position. He wasn’t a very principled man himself, but this was just too much.

“You would be paying more in legal fees than you would get from confiscating what the man left to his son. Why don’t you just let it go? In fact, why don’t you give whatever Mr. Byrd has in that storage unit to his son. I’m sure it’s not very valuable and his son would greatly…”

“But what if it is something valuable?” Clarence interjected “After all, it wouldn’t be the first time he surprised me with what he had stashed away.”

A sudden surge of anger arose in the lawyer. He knew himself well though, so he simply stared at the ground and let the storm pass. Finally, the words came�"

“Mr. Jacobson, I don’t mean to dabble in your personal affairs, but both you and I know that you cheated Mr. Byrd out of a lot of money. He practically lived like a bum for most of his life because of you. Do you not even have the decency to let his only son have the few valuables Mr. Byrd had left when he died?”

“I didn’t cheat Gilbert” Clarence said sharply “we made a deal.”

“A poisonous deal” the lawyer shot back.

“Well hey” Clarence said with a fake smile “If Gil had been reading his bible like he should’ve, he would’ve known the verse…what is it… “be shrewd as a serpent.”

“Right” the lawyer’s voice dripped with sarcasm “And if you had been reading your bible, you would know the rest of the verse �" “and be innocent as a dove.”

“Oh, Gilbert was innocent all right” Clarence replied, “too innocent for his own good.”

The lawyer began to say something but realized he wasn’t getting anywhere. Eventually Clarence broke in�"

“Well, it probably isn’t worth the trip, but I’ll go see what good ol’ Gil left me.”

The lawyer nodded and then, with a firm voice, he cut in�"

“We can take my car”

The two men walked over to a small Camaro and got in without a word. For most of the trip, the men sat in silence, listening to the hum of the rubber on the road. At one point, Clarence complained about something, but the lawyer just looked at his watch and then back up at the road.

Soon afterwards, the road dead-ended into another dirt road. The car turned right and went on for another ten minutes. Clarence asked the lawyer if he knew where the place was at, but the lawyer simply nodded and made a sharp left turn. After five more minutes of barbed wire and cactuses, the car finally came to a stop in front of what looked like an old shack.

“This is what he meant by “storage unit?” Clarence remarked scornfully “I bet no one has been out here in decades.”

The lawyer slowly frowned as he stared at the steering wheel. With a slightly shaky voice, the lawyer slowly let out the words�"

“This…this is where Mr. Byrd lived.”

“Oh, that’s unfortunate” Clarence said quickly “but it makes sense though.” Clarence started to chuckle and turned towards the lawyer.

The lawyer didn’t laugh though. He simply got out of the car and walked up to the plain metal shed door. Clarence followed cautiously.

The whole thing seemed out-of-place to Clarence. It didn’t add up why Gilbert would try to pay him back when he knew he had been cheated out of his money in the first place. The only answer that made sense to Clarence was that Gilbert was doing it to help out his son. Even that seemed like a stretch though since Gilbert didn’t leave much to his son…or did he?

“That’s it” Clarence thought to himself “Maybe Gilbert did own something very valuable. Maybe that’s how he got the five hundred thousand! He is probably giving a small part of it to me so that I would be satisfied and not go after…”

Clarence’s thoughts were interrupted by the screeching of the shed door as the lawyer slowly lifted it up. The two men walked slowly as they entered the musty room.

It wasn’t much to look at. A sleeping bag lay crunched up in the corner with an ash trey next to it. The floor was littered with beer cans and there was a half-eaten chicken leg on top of a small cable spool which apparently served as a table. For decoration, there was one picture stapled to the far wall.

Clarence recognized it to be Gilbert and his son on a fishing trip. Gilbert’s smile always gave him away since it seemed to cover most of his face. His son had a slightly different complexion that seemed more serious and, on closer inspection, seemed familiar to Clarence although he was probably just confusing it with Gilbert.

The room had one window (it was actually only a hole) in the center of the ceiling. Through it, a pillar of light shot straight down revealing a medium-sized box with the words ‘The King’ written on the top.

“That’s it” the lawyer said pointing at the box “That’s what Mr. Byrd specified was yours in the will.”

Clarence once again raised one eyebrow and then walked hesitantly up to the box.

“The King…what is that supposed to…

ELVIS!” Clarence screamed with excitement,
“It must be Elvis Presley memorabilia!”

It all made sense now. Gilbert had always been a big Elvis fan and probably had a lot of Elvis Presley items that were worth thousands. This was only the tip of the iceberg.

Clarence grabbed the box and began to tear into it clumsily. The lawyer began to say something but was only able to get out the word ‘maybe’ before the long, slender body appeared.

Clarence tried to throw the box, but the fangs were already in his neck before the box left his hands. For a moment, the lawyer stood motionless as he watched Clarence yank the serpent from his throat taking a small chunk of flesh with it. Clarence’s eyes grew wide as he recognized the snake’s wide neck and the yellow and black color pattern.

The lawyer suddenly came back to life and ran out the door just in time to turn around and see the half-angry, half-scared Clarence emerge.

“That devil!” Clarence screamed as he felt his neck.

The lawyer almost began to laugh but managed to keep his composure just long enough to ask�"

“the snake?”

“No!” Clarence yelled looking down at his red fingers, “Gilbert!”

“I guess he was a little more mean-spirited than you thought” the lawyer said as he slipped into the car.

“You got that right” Clarence’s voice was already getting raspy from the swelling of his neck “I’m not a snake expert, but that looked like a cobra of some sort. We better head to the nearest…” Clarence suddenly stopped speaking when he heard the car engine start.

Something wasn’t right.

The lawyer rolled down the window and let his arm casually hang out. As he spoke, the slight grin on his face grew into a smile. A really big smile.

“Yeah, it looked like a king cobra to me. You know, I do remember Gil could be very nasty sometimes…and you know what they say…”

The lawyer slammed on the accelerator�"

“Like father, Like son!”

Author's Note

I am trying to get this published, but I feel like the story is too slow and too predictable. Anyways, let me know what you think.

Reviews

[roarke]

I enjoyed this tale of "come-uppin's" Everything works here, you are very good with dialogue. One thing I might do is define the document and what/how the bank owes Gilbert. Before and after that part, everything move well and the characters are well defined through their dialogue. Nice story.

[Lea Sheryn]

I enjoyed your story, particularly the ending. A little finessing will help to pick it up. Just keep working on it.