Cruel Goodbye

Glacial heart, cerebral pen

Words, whispered on the wind

carry your tender touch from miles afar.

How I long to seek the truth

Exhausted in the warmth of your aurora

Enamoured in the touch of your delicate hand

Against the cool of porcelain skin.

Words, waiting by the wayside

You never spoke them elsewhere?

Only to me. Yearning for your mind

To create symphony with mine own

Drowning, languid in your eyes

Melting neatly in the concave of your chest.

Words, wishing they weren't false

The ache in my bones, to feel you near

Your weight against me left me breathless

Rough hands exploring in anticipation.

Silently electrifying as we are one

Eternally joined in doom.

Words, tender morsels of untruth

Keeping me in rapture

As our limbs intertwine

Searching my soul

an untouched sanctuary

kissing away my angst.

Words, how cruel to push me away

when you are done with me

empty whispers on windless shores,

My fool begs to hear them once more

Anticipates the sting of your kiss

And the cruel goodbye.

Reviews

[RDOriginal]

This sounds really painful. There's so much longing and desire but it's all about parting. To me it seems that it's never 'sweet sorrow' it's always just 'sorrow'. I have a feeling in this poem though that the sorrow is really only in one direction.

The most powerful feature in this poem for me is the consistency of the use of 'Words' to begin each stanza. In addition to creating a pattern above and beyond the rhyme and rhythm each verse uses the word as a launch point for a completely different interpretation. Firstly we have a romantic notion, then their use to perhaps lead astray, then as lies, then a repetition of the lying theme but this time unheeded by the narrator and finally their use in the act of rejection. There are so many uses of words, small wonder Votaire wrote, "one great use of words is to hide our thoughts".

The third and fourth stanzas do a superb job of describing making love in the most romantic style. This is so subtle but so erotic. Then, following this beautiful moment there is the stark reality, perhaps even cruelty as the narrator uses the phrase, "when you are done with me". What we thought was a shared experience is now something totally one-sided and almost sadistic.

In this poem you do a great job of leading the reader on an emotional journey which ends, as the title says, with a cruel goodbye.

[FlawedByDesign]

Hmm...I dont know why, but this comes across as goodbye sex to me.
I like how you lead into every stanza with "words" and then unraveling the story.

Nicely done.

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem was amazing. Opening with a story of love and sweet words. Then led me into the last lines of disappointment. Your description and story was very good. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[R E Tree]

Wow this surprised me. The title of the poem suits the poem and without it this poem would be confusing. I do understand that this is a love poem and that your feelings are deep and you care for him with all your heart. But it would be better if you and him had a stronger connextion with one another because it would make the poem feel more romantic. Overall the last stanza stood out the best thats because it expressed so much pain. Well done