Cruel Goodbye

Glacial heart, cerebral pen

Words, whispered on the wind

carry your tender touch from miles afar.

How I long to seek the truth

Exhausted in the warmth of your aurora

Enamoured in the touch of your delicate hand

Against the cool of porcelain skin.

Words, waiting by the wayside

You never spoke them elsewhere?

Only to me. Yearning for your mind

To create symphony with mine own

Drowning, languid in your eyes

Melting neatly in the concave of your chest.

Words, wishing they weren't false

The ache in my bones, to feel you near

Your weight against me left me breathless

Rough hands exploring in anticipation.

Silently electrifying as we are one

Eternally joined in doom.

Words, tender morsels of untruth

Keeping me in rapture

As our limbs intertwine

Searching my soul

an untouched sanctuary

kissing away my angst.

Words, how cruel to push me away

when you are done with me

empty whispers on windless shores,

My fool begs to hear them once more

Anticipates the sting of your kiss

And the cruel goodbye.

Reviews

[RDOriginal]

This sounds really painful. There's so much longing and desire but it's all about parting. To me it seems that it's never 'sweet sorrow' it's always just 'sorrow'. I have a feeling in this poem though that the sorrow is really only in one direction.

The most powerful feature in this poem for me is the consistency of the use of 'Words' to begin each stanza. In addition to creating a pattern above and beyond the rhyme and rhythm each verse uses the word as a launch point for a completely different interpretation. Firstly we have a romantic notion, then their use to perhaps lead astray, then as lies, then a repetition of the lying theme but this time unheeded by the narrator and finally their use in the act of rejection. There are so many uses of words, small wonder Votaire wrote, "one great use of words is to hide our thoughts".

The third and fourth stanzas do a superb job of describing making love in the most romantic style. This is so subtle but so erotic. Then, following this beautiful moment there is the stark reality, perhaps even cruelty as the narrator uses the phrase, "when you are done with me". What we thought was a shared experience is now something totally one-sided and almost sadistic.

In this poem you do a great job of leading the reader on an emotional journey which ends, as the title says, with a cruel goodbye.

[Abdul Aziz]

This is pure poetry! The pain with which every word is written, nay, chiseled, imparts the poem with a kind of beauty that is very rarely achievable. The way in which this poem is presented is tremendous. I'm not talking about the pattern, which is excellent on its own, but the way in which this lonely heart whispers, anticipating the "sting of your kiss and the cruel goodbye". The longing, pain, love, is really evident in your words. This is an amazing poem.
Great job!

[Tea And A Cheshire Smil..]

A really emotional piece. I loved the repetition of "Words" at the beginning of each stanza and the story you told was excellent. Brilliant work

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

This is a really sad poem. I hope you feel better from whatever happened to you. Thanks for sharing. :(

[Dinesh Sairam]

This poem stands proof to the power in all the poets. This is your best write I've read as yet. Expanding imagery seems to never end. And the words are very aptly put. Well, I can say the stanzas were uneven. But then, that's not a requisite to a beautiful poem, it's just a catalyst and this doesn't need one. I'm subscribing you and this goes into my favorites as well (Needless to say, rated 100).

Keep writing.

[bbb]

The deception that love-making means love is truly a devastating and cruel one. Well done!

[Art Sun]

nice work...yearning to feel or touch is as the pain of goodbye both have a magnetism to the end result and when the encounter there need satisfaction becomes the same goodbye...

nice...

[Ruth]

Wonderful poem love, angst, remorse, emotions abound!
Goodbye to many things, love, the heart, those words that linger, excellent work!
xx

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

how deep we fall even when passion is punctuated by the sting of the careless lover~a melancholy and profound composition most of us can relate to from some aspect of our lives~

[StacyPerry]

I have felt this as I read it. I had to add it to my favorites on the reading list so I could go back to it time and time again.....it holds so much truth.