Uplift me

a series of senryu

Awaken your strength~
Within you lie the secrets~
To decode yourself.


Pour your soul on mine~
Anoint me, teach me to love,
As only you can.

Adorn me with words~
Gold and silver fade with time~
I need only truth.

Hold your heart here~
Attentively in my hands~
I'll nurture with love.

Look into my eyes~
I won't flinch as you explore~
My heart on sleeve.

Reviews

[Amaunet]

beautiful poem. you managed to combine the need for answers, the want for love, the desire for truth, as well as showing that you have strength enough to not flinch but still gentleness enough to wear your heart on your sleeve and nurture at the same time.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

This is a great poem. I really liked it. I think it was beautiful. I agree with Amaunet. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Stammers]

I liked the three line layout, gave it a peaceful, measured feel, I found I could rely on the pattern gave it a feeling of relaxation. The length made the words you chose carry a heavier load; I found myself rediscovering commonly used words, which was nice.
Soft, gentle piece, almost a holy look on love, nice read :)

[Antonio Valentino]

Pour your soul on mine~
Anoint me, teach me to love,
As only you can.

Adorn me with words~
Gold and silver fade with time~
I need only truth.

This was fantastic, espcially tying all the separate senryus together.
Wonderfully done!

Antonio xx

[RDOriginal]

There is real sadness and desperation in this poem. It sounds as if the narrator is speaking to someone who just can't see what is under their own nose.

Whoever is the object of affection sounds like they are confused about themselves and the narrator wants to help them, "within you lies the secrets to decode yourself". This isn't obsession or lust, this is the genuine desire to help another human being.

There are such rich images in the second and third stanzas. I love the idea of being anointed by someones soul - it's such a spiritual description. When added to the placement of truth above gold and silver there is almost a self-sacrficial aspect, an exposure of the narrator to anything that might result.

Perhaps we should all wear our hearts on our sleeves and let those who love us explore them? Maybe that way there can only be truth in the world.

[Another Relic]

Adorn me with words, Gold and silver fade with time, I need only truth. I love that stanza. It all speaks of love and experience in the things that really matter and the stregnth to show it. Wonderful.

[FlawedByDesign]

I like the order you've presented here.
It seems you want him to make a move, so you tell him to "awaken his strength", gain the confidence; give himself to you by "pouring his soul into yours".
I like how you dismiss the material goods to focus on the words, which carry emotion and feeling.
I hope that heart on the sleeve is in some protective case; don't want you getting hurt :)

Well done!

[Abdul Aziz]

Awesome! People have already commented on the emotional aspect of the poem. I'm drawn by the technical aspects here. You've written a series of seryu that is seamless, where every stanza blends with the next one. There are some brilliant lines here, like: "Adorn me with words/ Gold and silver fade with time". Just awesome!
Another feather to your cap.

[Tea And A Cheshire Smil..]

A very emotive poem. You managed to convey a sense of desperation and strength yet at the same time love and fragility. I also loved how it sounded almost as if you were speaking to the reader. Beautiful write.

[StacyPerry]

Thee entire wrote was plain loving and I almost shed a tear on this one. Very well done.

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful poem of love. The feel and emotion was kind and gentle. Each set of lines added to a outstanding poem of love.
Coyote