Something yet unnamed

 

 

 

I was born unto a land without butterflies...
I am a child of dusk

Thorns fingered lightly remind me of love
Of sorrow
Of sacrifice

 

 

 

Author's Note

This...is a booger of a poem.
I can't seem to add on to it effectively, so I take that as a sign that this is all it was ever meant to say.
I consider it my problem child. *smile* I just don't know what to do with it.

Reviews

[Toni Prehoda Kahler]

Refereshing lines, both. I feel as if they are leading me in, that the first line can be the first line, or the last. That that last line can be the last line, or the first. I tend to want more than some of the other reviewers, simply because you have so wonderfully opened me to your images...and left me to imagine. I do like the mystery, but still want to know where YOU will take me.
Such a wonderful "problem child"!! Perhaps they are really lines from two poems? The word-images are powerful, and perhaps both too powerful to live in the same poem... perhaps... anyway, I am exploring your poems, this is a wonderful first-read!

[Obscure Meaning]

Sounds like you've got an alice in wonderland poem on your hands here!!! Trying to escape reality and running to a place which perhaps isn't better and certainly more confusing, yet at the end could bring clarity. If you did want to expand maybe consider this?

Either way it sits nicely as a small poem and can let a reader such as myself interpret a new meaning. However obscure that meaning is ;)

Obscureness out

[JC]

it doesnt need anything more, it's perfect as is, meloncholic and beautiful. let that problem child be who she is.

[Su' Nacnetaf]

It is beautiful, nostalgic and poignant. Short but it tells a lot of things which I cannot quite well explain in a simple review, as you have titled, it expresses "something yet unnamed". Excellent writing, keep up the great work.

[LittleMadGirl]

It's reammy awesome, great, wonderful, beautyful, ...
It a whole story, it's whole book, it's more than that ... =)
It's fantastic!

[cest la vie]

Do not touch one vowel, letter, line..
It is beautiful and all conatining as is written. Sometimes the smaller reads, say more than a 5 stanza read.

Beautiful!!