The Fate of Eve

Brittle locks whip limply in the wind. The tower has crumbed but it's too late.

Ravens pluck at her bloodless flesh.

Where is her lover?

He's forgotten to rescue her...

 

Broken form lies torn apart on the roadside. All in vain for her father has died.

Wolves feed on the horse as the final petal drops.

Where is her prince?

He's forgotten to save her...

 

Waves beat mercilessly against the shriveled body. A wide empty hole where the heart had been.

Crabs dig deeper, burying the evidence in the sand.

Where is her knight?

He's forgotten to love her...

 

Stiff, cold, dusty and finally dead. A thousand loveless years have stopped her heart.

Spiders do their best to mask the horror of the corpse.

Where is her savior?

He's forgotten to kiss her...

 

Pearlized fingers curled around a rotten apple. The lovely and empty lie believed.

Rats sip the sticky juice that drips from her lips.

Where is her hero?

He's forgotten to warn her...

 

 

...This is the fate of Eve...

 

 

 

Author's Note

The challenge was to take a Fairytale and rewrite the ending where it is anything but happy.
My own interpretation of what the fate of a few heroines of fairy-lore might have been had their princes and lovers been less than heroic.


*For long over due clarification, Eve's fate is abandonment in a time of need, not the acceptance of her being a figment of fairy tales.

Reviews

[Legion]

Wow! Wow! Wow! and another Wow! Heck, I'll even spell it backwards for you...Wow! This is totally awesome. Such imagery, angst, and darkness. Brilliantly done. I think you might like my piece "Blood of the Scarecrow" or perhaps "Lilith Discarded: The Aftermath". You have a great talent. This is going in my favorites.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

An interesting piece.

[deeps]

This is so wonderful and a most enjoyable read
I really loved this write alot

[Sean M. Addams]

very brillant piece .. i really enjoyed this one alot.... the imagery in this is just amazing nice job .... i defintiley have to check out more of your work!!!

[W.k.kortas]

I don't know if Adam and Eve is a fairytale per se, but that's quibbling. In further quibbling, you could have put the third lines of each stanza in parentheses and opposed to a smaller font--I personally found that the least little bit off-putting. Those minor concerns aside, there is a whole bunch to like about the piece; it's very tightly structured, but it doesn't have the feel of something that is crammed into a structural box--it's very natural, nothing feels forced. The Eve-centric take on the story is an interesting tack, and it's handled sensitively and maturely. This is a very nice piece.

[Twilight]

Very good writing, as I have learned to expect from this writer! There is little more, that I could add, without repeating what other reviewers have mentioned. Or, simply duplicating aspects of the writer's description in her Author's Note.

Despite the darkness and morbidity of this piece, it does not seem too graphic for my taste. Indeed, it was rather interesting to read. Thankyou, Vesa! Another fine addition, to my Group, "Twilight's Disciples"! Who will be next, to add some writing, I wonder? For our fellow Group members, to read, review OR share.....

[Mandi]

This is really good. You've painted pictures in people's minds that i know if won't be easy to forget. I don't know how you do that so well, you're an amazing writer. :)

[Chaos Stone]

great write, really enjoyed it.
we all share the fate of eve

[Sasavet]

WOW. This is stunning! I get a lot from this, which I find is much past just changing the ending to a story. What I get from this is a girl who was sure things would turn out right, as if she was assured by her lover and he promised her he would save her, but in the end he didn't and there's heartbreak behind this piece. I can't think of any criticisms, it's flawless.

Good work.

[Su' Nacnetaf]

The fate of Eve is to be forgotten, regardless if it is of being loved, rescued, etc... Forgotten. It makes me ponder about the reason why the princes forgot. Very good writing, it gives me a lot of things to think of. Excellent.

[Lauren Marie]

I really love your writing style. It's sort of a clean-lined, simplistic, minimal type of writing--to put it in interior designing terms. Yet, this poem/story has a deeper meaning than is written in the words. I liked the take that Marie made on it, what with the "real" curse of Eve and all. That was an interesting meaning to pluck out of the story.

All in all, I loved it!
~Lauren