The Queen of The Dead Horse & Co.

I went to the Land of Woe...I walked its path...I had to know.

 

A tiny girl wearing a crumpled paper crown, sits humming upon a dead purple horse by the road side.

Her chubby hands cup her solemn down-cast face and she does not look up as she sighs to her court...

"Know something about kites and flying...

...Before you breathe your last..."

 

 

A young man lies face down on the ground, limp and tossed aside like a broken toy.

One finger moves gracefully; tracing in the sandy path these words...over and over and over...

"She stopped my heart with a look...

...Then left me here to die..."

 

 

An ebony tinted woman wrapped in satin ribbons, savagely hugs a rusted swing nailed to a stump.

Her eyes shut tight, her arms bruised from squeezing; she chants feelingly to the moon...

"I give and I give but it's never enough...

...This love reminds me of echos..."

 

 

An old bearded father stands a top a dead branch stretching overhead, reading aloud a love letter from his son.

Finshing, he folds the letter into a hat and places it on his head, mumbling disapprovingly...

"Silver words splattered across the dingy page...

...What hypocrisy..."

 

 

A freckled girl kneels in a patch of copper tulips, painting a mirror black with her hair.

Chewing on rubber kisses and holding the blinded mirror before her face, she whispers low...

"Seedlings come and die and sting...

...And meaningless angels take credit..."

 

 

A man with bleach-blond hair stands beneath a wooden bridge, a match in hand, three aces pinned to his boot.

Covering his face with thick round goggles, ink drips from his mustache as the match is lit...

" London bridges fell too far...

...Today I will regret..."

 

 

I have been to the Land of Woe...

I know its way...

Don't ever go...

 

 

Author's Note

A few strange pictures I had in my head that I attempted to string together.
I hope to add more "Wonderland-ish" images soon.
Critique welcome even if just to say "This is garbage".

If anyone would like to know what these represent, just send me a message and I'll try to explain.
But personally, I think it's more fun if you fill in the blanks yourself. *smile*
Thanks for any thoughts, critiques and comments.

Reviews

[Su' Nacnetaf]

Beautiful, the way it speaks to the reader! many words yet nothing really concrete attaching each part, challenging to the mind, perfect! Maybe I'm just blinded by the greatness I read, but I don't think anyone would even dare to say "this is garbage" as you said in the note. "Wonderland-ish" I will look forward to read the next ones to come, and maybe I shall read "I have been to the land of Woe.."? If time permits me, I'll be back to review more during the day. Outstanging job.

[Legion]

Very strange indeed. Felt as if I was stuck in the Twilight Zone or the Outer Limits. I felt it each section to be an interesting vision that kept me thinking that maybe this (with more) could be turned into a graphic novel. Liked it and the feelings I got from it. Oh, the first stanza, did you mean "kites" or "kits" in that one? Kudos.

[An owl on the moon]

I love surreal paintings, and so your words inspired Dali-like images in my head. Such works, while some might be "understood," truly evoke feelings and emotions deeper than understanding... This is simply amazing!

[Marie Anzalone]

Ah, yes... the land of misfit toys. Except it's a little more chilling when the toys have souls, isn't it? You might have a game you are playing with this that I am not aware of, but to me each installation was a flicker into the view of another victim of forced anonymity when all that is wanted is really to be heard.

It is hard to be an empath when you are drawn to the person whose inner child has run off to hide, to the man whose heart died to false love, the father who complains that his son did not love him enough, or the girl who resents the fact that angels take credit for all of the good work in this world.

Let me know please if I am way off base? I'm a curious critter.

Regardless, I really loved it. Thanks for sharing it!

[cloister]

I don't really do poetry. That's my mother's gig, not mine. I read it and think "too many adjectives," because if this were ordinary fiction, it would be overkill to have adjectives attached to practically every noun in the piece. But, this isn't ordinary fiction, it's a poem. As I have no sense for poetry, I have no idea whether that's a valid criticism or whether the inherently compressed, brief nature of poetry ends up requiring a higher adjective-to-noun ratio than in prose.

[Lauren Marie]

I am still liking it, although I liked the repitition of "I went to the Land of Woe...I walked it's path...I had to know," in the first version.
One thing: "An ebony tinted women ..." it whould be woman. Easy fix.
All these people have a story to tell. I agree with what Tyler said, each story is complex and meaningful.
Great write!
~Lauren
P.S. The title is so creative! :)

[Analgesia]

This reminds me a lot of Neil Gaiman...I love Neil Gaiman. The whole feeling of watching peoples lives unravel before you, the feeling that everyone has a story, complex and meaningful. And the voice is like words which were once part of someone echoing in an empty room. It also feels like I would need to read it several times to really understand, and I am compelled by an urge to understand everything about it. Very Gaiman, Very well written. If there is anything wrong with this I would say I understand the second to last line the least. I hope I was of assistance.

[turtlegirlluver]

I really like the flow and story behind this. I think it works very nicely with all the scenes strung together. I enjoyed it!

[Passingdaze]

This was a great little tale. I think it stands fine just the way it is. It's brilliant.

[Su' Nacnetaf]

I'm still thinking about the connection between each final statement in each stanza. "...today I will regret..." this in particular kept me thinking, but I'm afraid to give a wrong interpretation, I'll just say that this story, is actually a very thought provoking writing. "Don't ever go" from the dream? from the land of woe? from unreality? There's much which I don't understand yet, but I'll find out sooner than later, otherwise I won't be able to sleep comfortably. Still an outstanding job, I liked the changes.

[DavidRyan]

I think that's the best part of this story...no character is out of place. In fact, the more they may seem out of place, the more they most likely belong there. I like it. It flows really well. I like the disjointed feel of it and how you feel like you're walking down a dirt road and just seeing these people in their natural environment. Well done, dear. I love this piece.