I'll Never Forgive You...

Emotional spewing

I...
Love...
You...

Only now I've realized.

Damn it...

How could I have let you in?
I did everything I could to keep you out.
From the first time my eyes fell on yours...
I knew you'd be nothing but trouble.

 And to love you?
I could never let that happen.
I did my best to avoid your looks...
...your sweet, sweet smile that had all the others withering in pleasure.
Stupid girl.
How could I let you fool me?
You'd only break my heart.

You gave me your attention because I never spared mine.
You didn't understand me...
Looked at me like I was some science project.
You couldn't figure me out.

You're not a bad guy...
You're not the worst...
But you're not what I had in mind.
You're too dangerous.

You made me love you.
I'll never forgive you for that.

Why me?
Why me?
What did I do?
You had the world but wanted the girl who did what she could to repulse you.
 

But in the end you win; you always do.
Happy?
Now go on your way and leave me here alone...
That's all this was anyway.
Just a game.
Your favorite.
Win the unobtainable girl's heart...then break it.
With one...foul...swoop.

I love you, damn it.


Please walk away before you find you love me too.

Author's Note

I don't usually use profanity, but for some reason I feel that this piece just isn't fully expressed without it.
I'll probably edit it out later...
Please share honest thoughts.

Reviews

[Dr. Robert]

parts of this i liked, parts i didnt. I didnt really feel it was much of a monologue as it was a soliloquy. Still overall it wasnt bad. The use of quick snappy questions and the actual form of the text itself helped convey a lot of emotion. Excellent job!

[Dark Aeris]

The sincerity of this makes the work well written. I usually don't use profanity as well, however it was "needed" somewhat here to allow a strong emphasis. Nice work : ]

[JC]

honestly, i thought this was very good, i like how it asks questions then rambles in depth, exposes how you really feel, as always you are honest and that sincerity makes your writing amazing to read.

[Laura Sparkle]

I completely agree with you. The profanity makes the piece so much stronger. I think that most of us have been in the shoes of the speaker and the thoughts and feelings are beautifully expressed. Powerful piece. Well done!

[cest la vie]

I love this piece. It is so reflective of men and women. Falling for the one who we have the good sense to know is going to hurt us.
The style in which you wrote this reads almost like a short (albet, very short) story.

Really wonderfully written.
Lynne

[Daleth Grey]

The profanity was definitely acceptable, providing emphasis just where it was needed but clearly not going overboard. This piece provokes the kind of feeling that make me shiver...good work :)

[.Bunnie.]

Awww how cute...! Ahh yes, we've all been there...falling for the impossible bad boy who we KNOW is just waiting eagerly to crush our hearts. ^.^ I love the outlay of this, and I do love ALL of your words...even the profanity. You are absolutely right; it probably wouldn't be expressed to its fullest extent without it. I'd leave it just the way it is!! Fantastic job! :)

BTW...did he end up crushing you, or falling for you, too?? Super curious, here!! :P

[GAN almighty]

i must say that this is a really good one. i felt the emotion being showed in this one. well, it could probably be because i can relate to it-- you see, i am also in this situation and it f*cking hurts.

[Marie Anzalone]

How does it happen? Because even though we know better, even though we see them coming like bad news from a mile away, they smile at us and we just darn can't help it! Trust me- I know a bit about this subject!

Dangerous? I have a new saying about dating- don't get involved with anyone who isn't at least as dangerous as me. You can imagine there aren't many takers...

Seriously, I can feel your frustration in this piece, as you try to avoid what seems to be the local heartbreaker. Once again, you weave the story with your words, leaving out key pieces the reader must fill in. That last line, though- seems to say that you are just as afraid of being loved as you are of having your heart broken. Not uncommon to feel that way, because men like you describe can make us want to surrender to the most powerful emotions, and it is a very vulnerable place.

This was very nicely paced, and skillfully drawn. You paint with words- I really am coming to appreciate your style. Thanks!

[Lyzzy Redd]

Amazing piece of writing. I feel the same way. =( I commend you.