Pathetic

To speak the truth, everyday, every single day, I want die.
I put up this act so I could hide my true feelings.
My smile is fake.
My tears are fake.
My whole existence is fake.
The only real thing is my anger.
My hatred.
I could've heard the worst joke on earth but I laugh
Because I've grown accustom to the lie.
To fake emotions.

Sometimes I even wonder why I have these people as friends.
They piss me off.
They say horrible things but yet I "laugh" it off.
I hate this girl from the bottom of my heart and yet I'm her "friend".
I hate people for Christ sake.
They are ignorant and hypocritical.
They make no sense to me.
Thriving off the pain of others, it makes me sick right down to the bone.
I despise humans.

Boys are the worst of them all.
Laughing after the ones they once said they loved.
Making a mockery of girls' pain and suffering.
It burns to see a boy before me right now.
Then there's girls.
They are so dumb and vulnerable.
They would listen to everything a boy says and believe them.
Then when they're hurt they cry and say,
"He lied to me, he lied!"
When really they should've just not listened, not believe, not cared.

But even after all the pain,
they still go back to him.
Why?!
Did he every make you feel special?
And not just his toy?
Has he ever looked into your eyes and say I love you?
And mean it?
Can you even answer one of these questions?
No. Why? Because you love him?
No, you don't. You don't know what love is.
Trust me, if you die right now, he's with a next girl in 2hrs later.

So you kissed him for nothing,
Let him touch you for nothing,
And lost your innocence to a child who wouldn't even realize you were dead
Until he felt the need for sex.
He wouldn't feel sad because you weren't the one he loved.
He loves no girl.
And you just happened to let him go that far with you when no one else would because you love him?
Pathetic.

Author's Note

Just random things I think of and put together. I really don't know if it makes sense but whatever. I don't even know what to call this. I just really don't know what this is.

Reviews

[InsanityWriter]

I totally understand what you're saying.
The stream of consciousness you used to write this is perfect. Great job!!