What A Day

I wrote this based on a prompt and I like it.

I walked absentmindedly to the bus stop as I did every day after school, my eyes exploring the shapes and colors, everything around me, like it was the first time I noticed them. I knew everything there was to know about the houses, trees, cafes, offices that were around the bus stop, but still, every time I was there, I noticed something different and intriguing. My friends always say I’m very observant, I see the tiniest changes and spot the smallest differences, a gift of mine I guess.

That fateful day, I sat at my favorite spot at the back of the bus and took out my phone to select the perfect music playlist for the two hour ride to my house. I had just put my headset on and was staring idly out the window when a young man sat next to me. He was dressed in a sleeveless top and sweatpants, and was rather handsome.

“What a day!” He sighed and I wished that he wasn’t one of those chatty passengers who would want to strike up a conversation.

After a few minutes of silence, I thought I had gotten my wish, when he started.

“The weather is getting so hot these days; I’m beginning to believe in climate change.” He joked.

 I pretended not to hear, conveniently distracted by the headset on my head. The bus began to move, and I hoped that my person beside me would find something else to do, or get off at the first stop.

“Is that imagine dragons?” He asked, pulling me out of my daydreaming.

“I pulled off my headset to check how loud it was, and I was surprised by his question because, it was almost impossible for him to have heard the song I was listening to.

“Thunder right?” He asked again while I was wondering if he had super hearing.

“Yeah.” I finally replied

“I love their songs, especially that one.” He continued

“Do you listen to The Chainsmokers?” This guy was just so determined to have a conversation, and I was too nice to ignore hm.

“Yes.”

“My name is Frank by the way.”

“Anna.”

“My grandmother’s name is Anna.” What the hell? Was this guy just going to keep yammering for the rest of the journey?

Frank kept trying to bring up conversation topics and I just nodded. All I wanted to do was to listen to my music in peace, but I was trapped listening to the pointless talk of this man next to me. After about thirty minutes, the bus stopped at the first stop, and I felt like I should just get off the bus and walk the rest of the way home. At least that way, I would no longer have to pretend to listen to Frank.

“So that’s how I lost my sandals on the subway.” Frank was saying when I noticed a woman rush into the bus with a terrified look on her face.

Her pink dress had patches of dirt and she clutched tightly on to a large purse over her stomach. Everything about her screamed that something had happened to her, but I seemed to be the only one who noticed. She sat right in front of me and looked around, as if to make sure she wasn’t followed.

Just as the bus was about to start moving again, a man ran to the doors, and begged the bus driver to let him in, then he walked in panting. He wore a hoody and a pair of ripped jeans. Almost immediately, I noticed the lady in front of me begin to panic quietly, and the man in the hoody stood two seat in front of her and held on to the    I turned to scan the rest of the bus, when my eyes met with Frank’s and I knew we were thinking the same thing.

“Give me your phone.” Frank whispered authoritatively.

I just handed it to him, confused by what was happening. He typed up a phone number, called it and then handed my phone back. I received a message immediately.

“This is Frank. You noticed the strange guy and the scared lady?”      

I was puzzled, what in the world was Frank doing?

“Yeah, I did. What about them?” I texted him back.

“I think something’s up with the two of them. See how the woman is fidgeting on her seat?” I looked up and the woman seemed very disturbed, looking away from the side where the man stood.

“Yes, she seems very scared, and the man keeps staring at her. What should we do? Should we call the police?”

“We’re almost at the next stop, I’ll walk up to the front when the bus stops, and tell the driver what we’ve noticed.” I was honestly surprised by the way Frank was handling the situation. I had pegged him as a confused chatterbox, but he was showing the markings of an intelligent and coordinated person.

“I’m getting up now. Stay on your seat and don’t move.” Frank texted as the bus came to a halt at the next stop.

He had just walked a few steps away when the man in the hoody rushed toward the woman and grabbed her by the arm. The other passengers at the back were getting off the bus, so I was left alone with the two people in front of me

“Get the hell up!” The man said. His voice was coarse, deep and scary.

“Randy, please leave me alone.” The woman was almost in tears as she struggled to release her arm from the man’s grip.

In the course of trying to get herself free, the purse she was holding fell to the ground, revealing a growing baby bump.

“Kira, I swear, I’m going to stab you if you don’t get up.” The man whispered with a serious tone in his voice.

I figured that whatever was going on was so urgent that the man didn’t know I was sitting right behind them. I sank into my seat and was trying to send a message to Frank when I heard movement above me. The man had gotten the woman to stand up, and he was about to lead her away. I knew if she left the bus, her life would be in danger, and so would her baby’s life.

In haste, I jumped out of my seat into the aisle and started.

“Hello, miss.” The man and woman both turned around with intense expressions on their faces. I knew I had to find a way to get the woman away from the man.

“Miss, you-um.” I looked around trying to make up an excuse when I spotted the woman’s purse.

“You left your purse.” The man looked at me with deathly eyes and chills ran down my spine. He knew he had to just let the woman go back to the seat and get the purse to avoid suspicion. At that moment, I saw the driver coming with Frank behind him.

“Yes!” I whispered, causing the man to look back. In a split second, I felt a sharp pain in my side. I stared in shock at the devilish eyes looking right at me.

“Anna!” Frank shouted as he now stood behind the man.

“I will stab her again if you don’t step back.” The man took the bloody knife and waved it around crazily at Frank and the driver. I looked down at my left side, and saw blood, so much blood. I felt like fainting from the intense pain.

“Randy, stop this please!” The woman was screaming and crying.

Everything started looking blurry and the last thing I saw was the driver and Frank taking the man down.

                           …………………

“Good morning princess.” I opened my eyes and saw my mother sitting next to me.

“What happened?” I asked, after realizing that I was on a hospital bed.

“You were stabbed. But the doctor says it’s not serious. You’ve been unconscious for a few hours, how do you feel?”

“My head aches a bit, and my left side hurts. What about the lady from the bus?”

“She’s fine. Apparently, the man who stabbed you was her ex husband and he has been stalking her for months. He has a record of violent behavior and he would have probably hurt the woman and her unborn child if they got off that bus. I’m proud of you for saving her pumpkin.” Mum kissed my head and I could see the happiness in her eyes. She must have been so scared.

“May I come in?” Frank knocked 

“You can leave us mum.” I replied to the question in my mum’s eyes.

“I’ll go get some coffee then.” She said and left.

“I didn’t realize you were a secret superhero.” Frank joked.

“Thanks for coming.” I said, and Frank just smiled.

“The lady from the bus, Kira, she stopped by a while ago, but you were asleep. She’s doing fine, but the doctor sent her home to get some rest. She said she’s eternally grateful to you. I hope that man gets punished severely for what he did to you.” Frank talked a while more about different things and made me laugh a lot. Even though it hurt to laugh I was grateful that he came to see me. Ironically, meeting him was the best thing that happened that day.

 

Author's Note

I would like honest reviews and criticism. I may not reply to them immediately, but I should be able to soon.
Thank you.

Reviews

[Srchaud]

The writing is decent and shows ability but I have questions about the details.
1-If frank and anna where so observant why did they notice something anyone would notice. I would have been more impressed if you gave us details that I didnt connect only for anna to reveal them.
example-instead of the women coming in looking nervous covered in dirt she had slippers on, suggesting a quick escape from her house. Or the man played with a ring on his finger while looking at the other women who had only an indent where she once had a wedding band, suggesting they where once married.
2-her being stabbed and going down then just cutting to the next part was very jarring-it should have been 2 chapters. A minor nitpick but I think it would flow better.
3-Frank coming into the hospital wihtout annas mother seeming to care and so soon seemed a bit rushed. there should have been an entire chapter of anna noticing odd things in the hospital details we missed talkign with her mother. Then at the end frank comes in suggestion there is more to him.
other then that I think it could workas the beginning of a tale of two unlikly superheros coming together.

[Avia]

Thank you so much for this review. I will work on better transition in future stories

[Thepensiveplayer]

Wow. This was an astonishing tale! You can never know what to expect from your interactions with someone new you just meet. The results can be positive or negative, but at least the first choice outweighed the latter. I love the ending of how a relationship between the characters formed and they bonded through a tense situation. Now, that's just another ally for a lifetime. Excellent work. Take care and keep writing :)

[Najam Us Saher]

Interesting, I was glued till the end.

[Avia]

Thank you 🌹

[Najam Us Saher]

You're most welcome.

[LazerRays]

I like this. you spent a lot of time on this. i enjoyed this.
yours truely,
Sarah

[Avia]

Thanks Sarah. 😊

[Zinger_Wingz]

Awwww yessssss i like this ... its very good read

[Avia]

Thank you very much. I really appreciate your time and your review😊