Mia came back - Part 1

“To want for you and not have you is more than I can bear. But I have to leave, for you, for me, for us.” That singular line held so much emotion, that I was sure to move the audience to tears once I delivered it on stage.
I had been practicing for months, every single day, but that day in my tiny dressing room, I stared into the mirror, knowing I was a few minutes away from making or breaking all I had worked for. The clock on my dressing table rang, it was time. My hands became moist and a sudden chill swept through my body. I paced, trying to calm myself down, there was no turning back, this was happening. I took off my locket, kissed it and locked it in a drawer. The small necklace was the source of my strength and determination. I walked nervously out of the room, into the frenzy just behind the curtain.
“I need Daniel here, now!” Abel, the director was shouting.
“There he is!” Janice spotted me at the back.
“Alright, places everyone.” Abel signaled to the stage manager to make sure everything was set.
“The curtain is going up in 2 minutes. I know you guys are going to kill it out there.” Abel said finally and I faced toward the curtain about to be raised.
My heart was beating a mile a minute and the sweat on my palms dripped from the tips of my fingers. All my fears and doubts came rushing into my mind, and I couldn’t seem to move. I knew what was happening, so I closed my eyes tight and took a deep breath. In my mind, I imagined the happiest, most peaceful place I could be. As I opened my eyes, I felt a calm wash over me, just in time to see the curtain start ascending.
I had been so scared to perform in front of people again, but once I got on that stage, it was like I never left. The quick wardrobe changes and short breaks gave me a few minutes between scenes to breathe. The mere fact that I was acting so confidently, felt like a miracle to me. The applause and reactions from the audience made me even more confident and after 5 acts and 22 scenes, I walked onto the stage for the last scene. In that scene, my character, Jack was supposed to tell Janice’s character goodbye forever in a shocking end to their incredible love story.
Right as I began saying my lines, I saw something that threw me completely off my balance. I stopped, in the middle of the dialogue and just stared. Those brown eyes, that brown hair and that angelic face, I had yearned to see them for so long.
“Jack?” Janice asked confused at my sudden pause.
I snapped back to reality and luckily, the play ended perfectly, with the audience giving a standing ovation.
After the curtain fell, all I could think about was her, I couldn’t believe she came. I rushed past all the congratulations and excitement from how well the opening night went. Without even changing out of my costume, I brushed past the crowd leaving the theater.
“Daniel!” there was not a doubt in my mind about who called out to me. I could recognize that voice even more than my own.
In a moment, I was standing right in front of her, the woman my heart never stopped yearning for, the vision of beauty who always managed to turn my world upside down. She looked as perfect as she always did, in red, her favorite color.
“When did you get back from Uganda?” I asked
“Last week. Volunteer work is really fulfilling, you should try it sometime.”
“I, I didn’t think you would come to watch me.” I was so nervous that I couldn’t feel my heart beating.
“Your performance was really good, and I’m not just saying that, it’s the truth.” Hearing her say that was worth more to me than all the applause and praise I had received that night.
“Thanks, that really means a lot.” My mind was torn between whether to ask her out or not.
‘Just ask her.’ I encouraged myself.
“Mia. Um, would you like to grab dinner?” I tried to sound casual, but I hoped so much that she would accept.
“I would like that.” She smiled so beautifully, I felt like melting.
“I’ll just go and change out of these clothes.” I practically jumped with excitement.
“Don’t go anywhere.”
I ran to my dressing room, ignoring all the stares. After changing, I took my locket out of the drawer and clenched t in my fist. I was more nervous about going out with Mia than I was about the play.
‘What do I say? What if I upset her?’ my head started filling up with worried thoughts.
‘You can’t back out of this, she’s waiting for you.’
“Are you ready?” She asked.
“Yes, let’s go.” I struggled to keep my composure because I had suddenly become clumsy.
Mia picked a nice little restaurant to my relief. She never fancied expensive places and I was pleased to know she hadn’t changed in that way. The drive to the restaurant was mostly quiet. I wanted to strike up a conversation, but I was not sure what to say, so I just enjoyed the smell of her perfume.
We got a quiet corner table in the restaurant where the ambience was relaxing.
“So how have you been?” I asked after we had ordered our meals.
“I have been well, how about you?”
“Well, I’m alive and surviving.”
“I can see that. You look good.” She shyly pushed her hair behind her ears. She had short hair now. It looked good on her, but she looked different.
We talked for a while about everyday things and I began to feel with her like I used to. I would catch myself looking into her eyes, her big brown eyes; they seemed different too, but still welcoming and familiar. When our dinner arrived, I barely touched my food, I just watched eat. She was so beautiful.
“So how does it feel to be back in theater?” Lily asked on our post dinner walk.
“Honestly, it’s scary. I’m afraid of messing everything up again.”
“You shouldn’t be scared. You’ve made so much progress, it’s evident that you have worked hard to get where you are now.” It was soothing the way she encouraged me and I felt enough confidence to bring up what I really wanted to talk about.
“You know, all this while, I have wondered what you’ve been up to.” I saw the smile on her face disappear and she looked away from me before replying.
“The time away from everything has been good for me.” I knew this was a sensitive topic to touch, but it was necessary to discuss.
“Danny, I know it has been hard, 1 year is a long time.”
“One year, three months and six days.”
“Danny, I really didn’t want to hurt you, but you know why I did what I did.”
“I know you don’t have to feel bad.”
“I think I should find my way home now.” She was clearly upset by the conversation, so I let her go.
“You were amazing tonight. I hope this is a start of new and better things for you. I’ll see you around.” She hugged me briefly and walked away.
My apartment had a new form of emptiness that night. I hadn’t seen her in so long that I had started to embrace loneliness. But seeing her again filled me with longing and nostalgia. Memories from our marriage ran through my mind like a fleeting dream. I knew very well that I was the reason she left me. God blessed me with an amazing companion, but I never tried to be what she needed, instead, I broke her.
I poured myself a glass of whiskey and sat on the terrace. Mia loved admiring the night sky, I missed her so much. I had so many beautiful memories that I didn’t appreciate until she was out of my life.