Falling

I feel like I need God right now

I feel filthy, like trash
I feel lowly, like scum
There are no words to describe how much i loathe this feeling
And yet I bring myself to it, I fall and keep falling.


Sometimes I think I'm making progress
But then I fall and I'm back where I started
Weeping, heart bleeding, wondering if God would forgive me.
Feeling like from this moment, everything would go wrong.

The emptiness, I feel it too
Sometimes I feel it that you leave me, for you detest what I have done
I put mt hand in the cookie jar, and not it seems it's stuck
Please tell me you won't leave me, please cleanse my being of this.

I want to live my life for you, but first I need to stand firm.
Strong in you, strong enough to keep going
Hold me, all of me, so I am not misled.
And please forgive my sins, even when I fall again.

Reviews

[Norbanus]

As often happens when temptation rules
a winning strategy brings only grief.
We look into the pit in search of tools
To use in place of logic for relief.

But, taking one more step means that we know,
that blabbing all our virtue seems to lack,
what’s really needed if we want to show.
that our determination is on track.

Alas, we know the things we ought to say.
'I'm done with all this loathing. Now I’ll switch.’
But, all our broken words have won the day.
We try again, and make a brand new pitch.

Old sins are all forgiven and they’re past,
it takes that one more turn for it to last.

[wordman]

it seems we just keep going back to that cookie jar,it seems like it pulls us,yes he will forgive you,but you must forgive your self..i wrote a single tear,it reminds me of this write

[Avia]

Yes, forgiving ourselves is the hard part. Guilt is such a strong feeling. Thanks for your review.

[Najam Us Saher]

I like your words because I can relate to them. You take me to a journey in my mind where I find myself thinking about situation where I felt exactly the same.

[Avia]

I guess a lot of people feel and think deeply about life. Thanks

[Najam Us Saher]

You're welcome.

[Amrita]

I find poem well organized! It's such a beautiful composition..! And the last stanza is the most beautiful one!

[Avia]

Thank you very much Amrita :)

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

He is holding you and heard your prayer before you spoke you are forgiven even before you sin love your prayer it’s so honest I can relate many times to this

[Avia]

Thanks a lot. Though it's not easy for me to say all these things and put it out there for people to see, I just really wanted to write how I was feeling.

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Yeh I’ve done that many times

[Avia]

I understand. I just feel like, I take a few steps foward and pull myself back all the way to the start.

[Avia]

This is just me baring my heart. The poem may not be well structured, I was just writing.