My Freddie

Totally fiction

I love Freddie like i had never loved anyone before. I don't even recall a time when i ever felt so happy and free. He was always perfect for me and everyone knew that. He was confident when i was shy, calm when i was losing my mind. He always made try new things and see new places. I was like a hermit before he came into my life, but somehow, he made me balanced.
I remember this one time when I tried to bake and i almost burned down the kitchen in my small apartment. My roommate, Jenny was so upset because she had especially warned me against trying new things like that in the apartment. Freddie just laughed when i narrated the story, livid at the fact that Jenny threatened to kick me out of the apartment and get a new roommate.
"You don't have to be so upset" he told me, still giggling.
"She won't get rid of you. Where else would she get a roommate as funny and smart as you?" he smiled, and my anger disappeared.
He had that effect on me, every gesture of his seemed to affect my emotions in some way or the other.
"Thanks babe, and i won't stop baking. I'll just get Jenny to forgive me and be more careful. I'll bake a cake for your next birthday" I promised, and even though i knew he wouldn't hold me to it, i was determined.
School was a lot of work, but i could always count on Freddie to keep me motivated. With my writing job on the side and the paranoia that runs in my mind, I sought solace in talking to him. I was a mess most times but he loved me regardless. Sometimes he would travel for work and we wouldn't get to talk, but he would always send me beautiful messages when he could. I always smiled when i saw them because i knew he meant every word.
"Where are you?! I miss you like crazy" that would be my reply to the nice things he said. I wasn't always good at expressing my feelings, but that never deterred him from expressing his.
Finally, it was his birthday and like i had promised, i baked him a cake. It took a lot of effort and bribes to convince Jenny to let me bake in the apartment again, but it was all worth it. The cake looked amazing (well at least to me) and i was extremely proud of myself. Freddie's best friend Jake had planned to host the party in his restaurant and I also helped planning it. I knew many people were coming to the party, so i ditched my comfortable clothes in order not to be outshined by Freddie's exes who were also his friends.
Now, i'm not very balanced on my feet, hence, i tend to avoid heels, but that day i decided to wear a pair of 4 inch heels. I had to wait for Jenny because she was also attending the party. When i finally got to the restaurant, i was happy with how well everything was set up and I went around greeting the guests while waiting for the love of my life to arrive.
"He's here! " Jake shouted as he walked in with Freddie. Freddie looked so handsome with the surprised look he had on his face. I rushed to the back to get his birthday cake and returned just as everyone was singing.
" Happy birthday to you dear Freddie! Happy birthday to you! " the crowd shouted and cheered with Freddie in the middle. I struggled to walk with the heavy cake and my wonderful heels, but i was doing well... until i slipped and landed face first with the cake on the floor.
I was completely embarrassed and just ran out of the restaurant as fast as i could.
"Tori! Tori!" i could hear Freddie run after me.
"I ruined your birthday." I said between tears when he caught up to me outside the restaurant .
"You didn't ruin my birthday. You being here with me is the best present i could ever want on my birthday" He said in the calming voice that only he seemed to have.
"I love you Tori, and i'm sure i would have loved your cake too, but don't stress it. I don't need a cake on my birthday, I just need you." He concluded and smiled as he wiped my tears away.
I looked into his eyes and saw the profound love he felt for me. I used to wonder how i got so lucky, but i guess God heard all my prayers.
The next few months following his birthday were just like every time of our relationship, blissful. One day, Freddie sent me a message that he wanted us to go on a date. He normally called to tell me things like that or even asked me in person, but i thought nothing of it. I arrived at the restaurant and I realized just how fancy it was from the entrance. I was glad i had listened to Jenny and wore a lovely dress she helped me pick out. I started thinking about it as i walked in and everything was so strange. Jenny had insisted that she make me up and pick out my clothes which was strange. The hostess directed me to a table and i sat waiting for Freddie.
"I'm sorry love, I was caught up at work" Freddie said and kissed my forehead before sitting down.
He was wearing a suit and looked elegant, making me wonder what exactly was happening. I ate dinner carefully, expecting to feel a ring as i did, but there was no ring. Finally, after feeling disappointed by the lack of a ring, we left the restaurant.
"I have to go to Jake's restaurant, he asked me to come and look over some renovation plans" Freddie said as we drove.
"Sure" I sighed from my disappointment.
I stayed in the empty restaurant for a few minutes before music started playing.
"You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen." Freddie started, coming out of the office. I was dumbstruck.
"You are everything i have ever wanted and more. I am very grateful to have you in my life. There is never a dull moment with you around, you always make me smile. You make me strive to be the best version of myself, the one you see in me. I love your smile, I love how you look at me when you think i'm not watching. I love how you make the effort to step out of your comfort zone for me. I love everything about you." At this point my legs were shaking and my heart wanted to fly out of my chest.
"Victoria Anne-Marie Thomas, will you marry me?" He knelt in front of me with a ring in his hand.
Of course I said yes! Then all my friends and family came out and celebrated with a party. I was so happy, it was the best decision i have ever made and I know i will never regret marrying the best man in the world.

Reviews

[Srchaud]

Its a cute lovely story, is it your story as in did it happen to you?
Alot of the I are lowercase when they should be uppercase.
Also since freddie is so centrol to the plot give him a description(a fairy tale one) I want to know what he looks like, sounds like and smells like. If I am to be immersed with his presence let me fully feel it. other then that good job, we need sweet charming stories that take us away for a minute or two.

[Avia]

Thanks for the correction. As for the description of Freddie, i'll see if i can include something on that. When i wrote this, i was trying to make it short and i guess i lost a bit of the story in doing that. I'm glad you liked it :)

[emipoemi]

Avia, never go into a writing project expecting to come out the director. What I mean by that is don't go in with a thorough plan. Only go in with a tentative outline, let the story take it from there. If you come up with an idea, and expect it to be short, and do all in your power to make it short, you mar the magic of writing. You can definitely do more to this in order to flesh it out (right now, it really sounds flat, and we, the reader, don't care too much about anyone in the story, because they're not presented to us in a very believable scenario. Let the story write itself; let the characters speak to you, and tell you what they feel is right for the story. For only they know how things should flow. Don't be afraid to give more, always see a project to the end no matter what the length it ends up being. It's far more rewarding if you let the magic flow through you, and let the characters guide your pen.

On a technical note: don't repeat nouns/phrases in close proximity.....it tends to sound bad when read (an example is the thrice repetition of the word "heels" in the span of two lines.....that kind of repetition is simply no.

But I agree with Srchaud. Well done overall.

[Avia]

I am totally grateful for you taking time to tell me all this. It is very heplful and I'm glad I can get such motivation and instruction. I tend to force my stories into how i think they should be, but I would try and let them flow like I do my poems. I hope to get better at writing stories over time. Thanks a lot for this.

[emipoemi]

You're very welcome. It's my pleasure.