Three;

CHAPTER THREE -

Calista

It’s weird to be so alone. All I have is Lucy and she’s constantly running back and forth from Aaron’s, a very cry-oriented baby, father’s to work and then wherever else she needs to run to. I can’t help but admire her, the way she can smile when a baby is screaming loud enough to make my ears pop. I wouldn’t be able to do this in a million years. However, when I think about it, I recognize the fact that I never will have to. The thought makes me rock a little and I almost lose my footing and I bump into my bed.

            I can see Lucy is fixing her lipstick �" bright red, like a crisp apple you’re ready to bite into.

            Even though I’ve only been here a week and school doesn’t begin for another month, the thought of it sends me into a nervous frenzy. As I look around my empty bedroom, I feel completely constricted. It’s so vacant that the thought of filling this whole apartment up between school and down time, is unsettling. Maybe I should have stayed home, I think as I see Lucy walk by with boxes piled up higher than she is tall.

            I bark out a laugh and she glances over toward me, losing her foot and sending two boxes falling from the top.

            She disappears from my vision and I go back to moping in my room and thinking of how to make it more like home.

            As I’m pulling the pillowcase on, I hear a sudden rap at the door. I drop the pillow onto my bed and glance over to see Lucy walking by my doorway with flowers and scissors in hand. She stops in front of my door and smiles, “Door for you?” she asks and I shake my head.

            “I don’t know anyone here, maybe for you?”

            She shakes her head, her brown curls fanning out, then pursing her lips, “Can’t think of anyone.”

            Cahn’t, I think, grinning dumbly at her accent.

            She rolls her eyes at it, “Make yourself useful,” she laughs, “Answer it.”

            I stick my tongue out at her and then walk out of my room and to the apartment door. Lucy is hovering nearby; I can feel her eyes like lasers on my back. I open the door and lean against the doorframe, keeping it slightly closed.

            “Hello?” The guy standing before me is the one from the bar. Benjamin. He peers down at me with deep green eyes, but his whole appearance seems more ominous because of the way his dark hair shades and frames his face. I trace the scar the leads from his upper jaw to his bottom lip, and it leads me to a blank grimace. He doesn’t look like he knows how to smile.

            “Hello,” he replies, “Are you the one with the baby?” he asks, not bothering to beat around the bush.

            “No,” I say slowly, “My roommate has a baby though �"”

            “I like to sleep,” he tells me bluntly, “I don’t want to wake up at one in the bloody morning,” he growls.

            I glower at him. “Sure thing,” I say with false sweetness, slowly beginning to close the door so there’s on a slight opening left. “I’ll tell a five month old to maybe cry into a pillow so he doesn’t wake the grouchy neighbor.”

            He gives me a fake smile. “I’d appreciate it,” he’s matching my tone.

            I match the smile before my lip curls up and I shut the door in his face.

            “A*****e,” I mutter and Lucy chuckles.

            “I heard that,” I hear from the other side of the door and I roll my eyes.

            “Who was that?” Lucy asks as I hear the door closing beside us, and the dishes Lucy has set at the top of cabinets shutter a little. The walls to this apartment are paper thin. There’s no sugarcoating it.

            “Benjamin,” I say, “the grouchy neighbor that wants me to suffocate Aaron for him.”

            Her eyes widen and I put my hands up in surrender, “Not that I would. I love Aaron,” I say and on cue, Aaron cries from Lucy’s room. Her face flushes and she spins on her heel.

            “Sorry about this, Cali. You’ll want to scream soon enough.”

            I laugh, “No, I’m sure I won’t.”

{*}

I want to scream. The crying has reached a new height at one in the morning, what started out as whimpering now turns into full on wailing. As I lay in my bed, I stare at the ceiling, my eardrums are shaking with pain and I want to scream along with the baby. Without much consideration, I sit up and turn on my laptop, and start to click on Doc’s username on AIM.

            LucidLullabies: Hey doc

            Dr.Pepper3: Hello, Cali. How are you?

            LucidLullabies: not good. annoying baby. 

            Dr.Pepper3: I see. Maybe you could step out?

            LucidLullabies: out a window on one of the top floors? no thanks.

            Dr.Pepper3: Out of the apartment, Cali.

            LucidLullabies: i know that. its been a week nd no drinking

            Dr.Pepper3: Good to hear. Glad you’re keeping me posted. Perhaps there’s a roof? You should wait out the crying, get out of the apartment. And I don’t mean by the window.

>> You there?

            LucidLullabies: yep im here. k, imma go on the roof. night, doc.

>> ttyl

            Dr.Pepper3: Bye, Cali. I’m here if you need me.

            LucidLullabies has logged off.

            I pull the side of my lip into my mouth and look at our conversation, tapping my pointer finger on the side of my laptop. I shut my laptop and then stand up, taking Doc’s advice.

            When I slip out of my room, I see Lucy pacing back and forth in the living room. Her brown hair is bursting out of her sloppy bun and her usually wide brown eyes are nearly closing. She’s juggling Aaron and trying to feed him some of the formula, but he takes a hand and shoves it away, crying louder.

            “I’m so sorry,” Lucy says when she catches sight of me, “I can’t get him to go back to sleep.”

            “It’s okay,” I tell her, “I’m going to step out, if you need me just call,” I smile and Lucy sighs, rocking Aaron back and forth, singing softly to him.

            When I’m out in the hallway, I think about riding up and down on the elevator, but as I approach it, I spot the little sign hanging beside its doors.

Elevator is off after one in the morning.

Frowning at the sign, I spot the stairwell and hesitate; I could go to the roof. I look at the door and finally push it open, starting up the stairs. I pass by all the doors, and finally get to the last one, “roof” is printed on it in bold, red letters. As I lean into the heavy door to push it open, I’m greeted by the soft pitter-patter of rain.

            Leaning against the wall is Benjamin, a cigarette dangling between his lips and the smoke is crawling into the sky, dispersing as it climbs. I watch him for a moment as he stares out across the roof and then glances up at me.

            “Demon wake you?” he asks and then looks back out.

            “No,” I say as I step aside so the door can creak its way shut. I take a seat beside him, a little away and he doesn’t look at me.

            “Mhm,” he says, obviously not believing me, “Bloody monster woke me,” he mumbles and I watch as he long eyelash bat closed.

            Even though Aaron is making me want to pull out my hair, I feel the urge to shoot down every comment Benjamin makes, “Whatever,” I sigh, “He’s getting better.”

            “Mhm,” he snorts, “if by better you mean better at crying louder, then yes, you’re correct.”

            I narrow my eyes at him, “You were a baby once, too,” I growl, “Probably as whiny as you are now.”

            “I’m insulted,” he says in monotone.

            “Whatever,” I say again and cross my arms. We’re silent for a little bit and then I sighed, “Do you have another cigarette?” I murmur softly and Benjamin hands me one without saying anything.

            And we sit that way together for a while, perfectly silent.