My shadow

first i wrote the poem then thought of a theme. i had no idea where the words were taking me.

I live a pretty solitary life,
since the day passed my wife,
dirty house, dirty environment, 
dirty place with outright silent. 

The land is deserted,
my mind is diverted,
lonely life,lonely place,
In nobodys heart i have no space.

Everytime i recall your final touch,
that was when beyond too much,
makes me sad,
going to be mad.

False vision i see everyday,
flying black cat on the side of bay.

In my lonely adventure,
there is nothing much of a venture.

My lonely steps followed by one,
thought would be someone's son, 
though i cant see him,
just like me, he's too slim.

Over the valleys and the mountains,
he follows me though every fountains,
not a minute away from me,
I shook my head, still i can see.

Fears the darkness, cheers the light,
he gets taller, when light gets bright. 
I raise my left, he raise his right.
I cant see him, i cant fight.

The one who understands my sorrows,
is the only one who follows,
it is no one but my shadow,
no heart, no soul everything is hollow. 

Author's Note

when i said my frnd, give me a topic and i write you a poem, he asked me to write a 32 line poem from the word bank with five words- solitary,flying,black cat, deserted and shadow included in it. So did i did justice to my challenge? what say you?

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A interesting poem. Hard topic life and death. Every person react different to death. Like in the poem. Some people fall to loneliness and hollow self. I do understand. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Avanthika]

thank you so much sir , glad you liked it , your reviews are inspirational for me.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Penny]

You have changed the theme of the poem midway, so much so, that the two parts can stand alone as seperate poems, but somehow they stick together, that too beautifully. And there lies your genius. Very well.

[anne]

its a good work...nice reading it Avanthika...:))

[Lyan]

A sad poem but written eloquently. Keep up the good work!

[Surya pradha]

yes, you did justice to the challenge. the poem made me feel sad. well written!

[Sanjh]

It's good. The idea behind is wonderful, there are a few errors but over all it's wonderful.
You won the challenge...:)

[Angad Waraich]

considering all the constraints that your friend put on you to write this piece. I belive it is wonderfully penned.

Thank you for sharing.
Angad

[Sindu]

Shows the lonely self of the person in pain. Nice response to the challenge!

[Avanthika]

thank you so much dear:)

[Sindu]

You're welcome

[Dannyisawriter]

This really creative and good as the rhyming was really good :) Great job

[Avanthika]

thank you so much sir , kindly do suggest me tips to improve my writing.

[ayesha gupta]

yep. you included the words and constructed an amazing poem.. i was on the verge of crying. how lonely such a situation could be..i have got the picture from this poem.

[Avanthika]

thank you so much dear , thanks a lot:)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

it is a brave attempt and written with honesty but honestly, it needs work.
last four stanzas are actually very beautiful.
i liked it.
:)

[Avanthika]

am all ears to hear your suggestions my frnd.