Life without you is very tough

like every mother daughter relation we too had complaints for each other, but then they say it rightly you never know what you have until you loose it and so do i now realize what she was for me.

What is the thing she fears,

I saw her eyes full of tears.

What did i do to make you cry?

what do you want me to try?

There is something you must see,

can you live without me?

She let herself meant to die,

saying everyone good-bye.

Everyone says that was the end,

my mom says never bend.

I pray to god,let it be a dream,

but life moves like a narrow stream.

I have to travel a long mile,

the only way to bring your smile.

I traveled the road very rough.

Life without you is very tough,

Life without you is very tough. 

Author's Note

if the lines makes you remember of your mom, am rewarded. So , definitely need your opinion.

Reviews

[Sreenath]

well this poem is mix of emotions and splendid story but the feel of the poem is destroyed with the usage of words i feel that the words at some places are squeezed to rhyme like
(I have to travel a long mile,
the only way to bring your smile)
.. try some good set of words to make it more powerful there are lot of set of words just explore and play with it without missing the core of the poem .. enjoyed reading it nice poem :)

[S]

I am so stunned and touched. I have no words to describe how sentimental this is. Very nice Avanthika :)

[Avanthika]

Thanks a lot frnd for reviewing my work

[Mazie]

this is a very moving piece.. thank you for the RR, I am sorry for your loss .. it is true we never fully appreciate or understand what we have until it is gone, and I thin we are all guilty of that, especially with respect to our families...
This piece itself is great, nicely done, it is clearly coming form the heart.

[Avanthika]

Glad you like my work frnd

[Naina]

Ohh.. That's really unfortunate Avanthika.. I really liked this piece of yours.. I know how it feels when someone very close lefts you like this.... And losing a mother is just very difficult.. You are successful in expressing your feelings and connecting your readers with it.. I'm happy that you are strong enough to bear this because life is this only.. Its cruel yaar.... Keep writing and keep smiling.. May god bless you..:))

[Avanthika]

Thanks a lot my frnd

[Naina]

pleasure is always mine.....:))

[GA]

good '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

[Avanthika]

thanks reena :)

[Stonz P.]

Remove 'let' from the fourth stanza; it will project to the same effect.
'bidding' instead of 'saying everyone goodbyes'

Rest, a nice write.

[Avanthika]

once again thanks a lot frnd for reviewing my work:)

[Lyan]

Unfortunatley a lot of the time we do not realize what we have until it's gone. It's a sad truth.Thanks for sharing such a heart felt poem.

[Avanthika]

my pleasure lyan :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

excellent!
touching and heartfelt!
yeah it did make me remember my mom........i live in hostel, away from her.........yes, life without her is tough.
very well written.
i loved it!
:)

[Avanthika]

feel very happy over your review. Quite excited to hear something like that , a million thanks to you frnd

[Pushkar Prabhat]

you are welcome!

[Avanthika]

:)...............

[TheLostMind]

One of the best poems I've ever read. Very emotional. Do keep writing.

[Avanthika]

Thanks a lot frnd, indeed your reviews will keep me writing

[JJHII]

you did very good reminding me of my mom. I too have lost my mother. I watched my dad Grieve and my sister and I grieving right beside him.
If i might say there is one line in the poem I do not know if you meant for it to be past tense.

She let herself meant to die,
saying everyone good-bye. telling everyone good-bye.

either way I really enjoyed your poem.

[Avanthika]

thanks a lot frnd