Life without you is very tough

like every mother daughter relation we too had complaints for each other, but then they say it rightly you never know what you have until you loose it and so do i now realize what she was for me.

What is the thing she fears,

I saw her eyes full of tears.

What did i do to make you cry?

what do you want me to try?

There is something you must see,

can you live without me?

She let herself meant to die,

saying everyone good-bye.

Everyone says that was the end,

my mom says never bend.

I pray to god,let it be a dream,

but life moves like a narrow stream.

I have to travel a long mile,

the only way to bring your smile.

I traveled the road very rough.

Life without you is very tough,

Life without you is very tough. 

Author's Note

if the lines makes you remember of your mom, am rewarded. So , definitely need your opinion.

Reviews

[Sreenath]

well this poem is mix of emotions and splendid story but the feel of the poem is destroyed with the usage of words i feel that the words at some places are squeezed to rhyme like
(I have to travel a long mile,
the only way to bring your smile)
.. try some good set of words to make it more powerful there are lot of set of words just explore and play with it without missing the core of the poem .. enjoyed reading it nice poem :)

[Sanjh]

It's very touching and true. We don't come to know the value of someone until we lose them. It's a dark truth about us...
Thank you for sharing...:)

[Prabha Salimath]

Mother is a God gift I believe that. Educated or uneducated she remains all her life a shadow to make sheltered safe under her, she will never let us down as I experienced that's why my bachelor life is awesome. I loved it. Guys pls don't hurt her she may not express it being grown up woman but inside she may crying take notice of it and take care. Love her al the possible way never feel ashamed of it her ways looks a little awkward to modern ways but she means you to be happy that's it.

[K.N. Thorn]

This is good poem, you need a little more editing though. Simple things like making your 'i' an uppercase 'I'. I really liked the phrase 'life moves like a narrow stream'. I don't think you need to repeat the last line though it doesn't fit the pattern of the rest of the poem.

[Sindu]

There is a simplicity to these words filled with a deeper meaning. Nice read definitely! You wrote it with a deep emotion and it can be felt. Reminds me, yet again, why I should love my mum :)

[Avanthika]

thank you dear, glad you felt its depth :)

[Sindu]

You're welcome

[Dhaye]

Amazing and very touching poem. The repetition of the last line made it more effective.
I like the style it was written aside from I really love couplets.

Keep it up!

[Avanthika]

thnk you so much frnd:)

[M.A.Rathore]

Nice poem about the fast relation between mother and daugher beautifully drawn using rhyming words. Nice try. Keep it up...Avanthika...

[Avanthika]

thank you so much Rathore :)

[M.A.Rathore]

Plz read some of my poems and provide your kind veiws..Avanthika....

[Avanthika]

sure sir, i will :)

[M.A.Rathore]

Welcome Avantika...Happy Diwali...

[amrit]

wow ! beautifully woven. simple yet the everything about this is striking . a enjoyable soothing piece .

[Avanthika]

Thank you so much amrit :)

[Rounak Jain]

There is something you must see,
can you live without me?
Pierces right through the heart. Spell bound.

[Avanthika]

thank you Rounak :)