Just a short screenplay written to highlight the peoples attitude towards nation. The climax is the three questions that a boy asks a man. In three simple sentences he conveys his message.
People had die for this land to get back. After years of
sufferings, battles, pain and agony we had gained this land, the land of Mother
India. The ones who had once sacrificed for this land have gone to the advanced stage of selfish, egotistic, greedy people.
The three lines said by this young boy would make everyone
nod their head over his opinion.
Sitting on the side seat of the bus I was watching the
scenery outside. In a minute the traffic light turned to red and in a second I could see a pile of vehicles lining up on the road. It was at this moment a small boy came holding the little flags of India. Seeing the heavy traffic, he was delighted, perhaps he would have
thought he can make use of the time to sell his flags. To his awe, even after
approaching 40 plus vehicles over there not a single flag got sold. It was then
his eyes fell on the new Volkswagen Vento blue colour car, new because it had
that shining that every car has on its first day of drive. With high hopes and
a sigh of relief he went near to it . But the man inside wearing his black sunspecs didn't bothered to open the window of the car. But the boy was adamant.
He kept on knocking on his glasses and the man finally had to open. Before the
man could say anything, the boys query made the man buy all the flags. Though
a marketing technique but what the boy said would ring bells in our ears too.
The three questions that he asked him,
Sir you can spend lakhs to buy this car but not a rupee to buy India’s flag. You buy cars add more profits to the millionaires but can’t you spend any rupee to make the life of a poor? You adore
international brands and ignore your own country fellows, Is that how you take
pride in being an Indian?
Before the boy could speak
anything more the man bought all the flags as he was embarrassed totally by now. The smile seen in the
boys face made the man smile too. Co incidentally the green light appeared as if it was the gods green signal agreeing with the boy’s vision.
Thought of writing like it really happened in front of my eyes, just tried to convey the message through simple sentences. How far do you think it worked?
My Review
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Very well written. It reminds me definitely of Kipling or Orwell (because of his essay on shooting the elephant). I can tell that your English has room for improvement but you made this very easy to read and it is clear that you put forth a good deal of time with it, so I applaud you for that.
I really enjoyed this; well done!
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
thank you so much Mila, you inspired me to read Kiplings works. :)
it worked for me...but the thing is I feel disappointed when I saw Indian flags are lying down on the streets and roads...btw the boy here makes good point..
I really liked the messages behind this piece. I think we are more into supporting the global chains instead of small owned businesses. I always think that no matter how much money one has, one always has their own way of prioritizing how that money will be spent. It seems the poor will give all they have, while the rich give a little just to make themselves feel better that somehow they participated in helping someone out that's not in their caste.
I fear this is just prose and not a screenplay, so please change the description. I could not let this pass, as the others have.
The issue you want to raise is good. Even I am against this raid of globalization that has robbed the locals of their deserved, hard-worked livelihood. There are grammatical errors and reading your About section, I have to break this truth to you: To become a writer, you must become a reader.
Your reading is forced because you only wish to write, but tell me, when you learned to write, did you not learn to read first?
Think about it and only if you wish to read from your heart and soul, shall I suggest some good literature to improve and expand your literary horizons.
Take care.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
i would very well welcome your suggestion, kindly suggest
Very well written. It reminds me definitely of Kipling or Orwell (because of his essay on shooting the elephant). I can tell that your English has room for improvement but you made this very easy to read and it is clear that you put forth a good deal of time with it, so I applaud you for that.
I really enjoyed this; well done!
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
thank you so much Mila, you inspired me to read Kiplings works. :)
Very nice imagery Avanthika. Puts me in the mind of a scene from something Rudyard Kipling might write. I think the problem here is a 'lost in translation' issue. English is clearly not your first language and to be able to accomplish something like this in a second language is remarkable. You have grand visions and good ideas, as well as good and righteous morals, yet the language barrier well let you down in a place like this unfortunately. I'm not sure if you're studying English or want to, but if you want to write in English i would suggest finding someone to collaborate with to edit and fine tune your work. Just to smooth out all the grammar and perhaps make a few adjustments for a westernized audience. I'm not sure if this is something you want to do, but your work (in English) would greatly benefit from it. In the meantime, I would try reading some Kipling/Dahl for short story format, Dickens if you want to work on your vocabulary a little more. Always happy to lend an honest critique, I hope the greatness in your mind finds its way on to the paper it deserves :)
-Robin
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Iam much honoured when you compared my scene with something of Mr.Kiplings, indeed writing has alway.. read moreIam much honoured when you compared my scene with something of Mr.Kiplings, indeed writing has always been a passion for me. You can really suggest me something so that i can really work on to write for the westernized audiences.
10 Years Ago
The authors i mentioned will help you get into the correct sort of format and style, as for the gram.. read moreThe authors i mentioned will help you get into the correct sort of format and style, as for the grammar and tuning, like i said, partner up with someone who understands you and understands all the little annoying nuances of English and get them to edit/proof read your work, it will improve immeasurably and you will learn to do it yourself before long I'm sure :)