What is happening to mother India?

When the whole world prays for gaza, am afraid they are unable to look at themselves. Before we point our fingers on our neighbouring nation, let’s have a look on our country.

                         

                                                     What is happening to mother India?

                                                     It is becoming a ferocious encyclopedia.

A girl got raped,

And the man escaped.

The whole seen obtained videotaped,

with the case being reshaped.

                                                      The poor become the poorer

                                                      And the rich become the richer.

                                                     Ones who sacrificed their lives for amity,

                                                      are now taking lives for enmity.

People sitting in front of TV, cheering favorite team,

soldiers battling hard, to attain everyone’s dream.

One man one religion,

has divided every region.

                                                    What is happening to mother India,

                                                   It has become a ferocious encyclopedia.

 Pray for Gaza, Pray for India

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

How effective is the poem in making people realize the truth?

Reviews

[Christopher Robin]

Whilst the metaphor (well it's hardly a metaphor these are facts really) is simple and effective, the deliverance is again hindered by a 'lost in translation' issue. I've mentioned this in my other review and the same advice applies here. There's greatness sitting right in front of you, but this needs to be edited by someone with a very firm grasp on both your ideas and the English language to truly let the beauty of this poem out. I hope you find them because I can't wait to see what your words will become, and what you will deliver next.

-Robin

[Jamie R. Robillard Sr.]

I agree with you Robin, though do you not mean Delivery vs Deliverance?

[Christopher Robin]

In almost all other cases yes Delivery would be the better word, though deliverance can still mean 'declaration or announcement'. I chose deliverance because of it's other meaning in relation to this poem. When i say 'let the beauty of this poem out' i truly mean to set it free, for it to be 'delivered' from the language barrier holding it back. It was deliberate because I rarely get to use it for both meanings :)

[Christopher Robin]

autocorrected that its to an it's, apologies.

[Jamie R. Robillard Sr.]

Okay, I guess it was the way you used it the sentence ...the deliverance is again hindered... that caused me to view it as a statement of condition vs a statement of transformation. Thank you for clarifying that.

[Jamie R. Robillard Sr.]

and autocorrect is the all of our bane! :D

[Christopher Robin]

No i totally understand your confusion, what I intended and how it reads would confuse me as well if i had not written it myself!

[Jamie R. Robillard Sr.]

'and autocorrect is the all of our bane!' clearly, I need more coffee!

[Avanthika]

once again thank you robin, as promised will read the works of writers you told me

[Angad Waraich]

The harsh reality of what what's going on in this country of ours.
A heartfelt piece,.
Very well done.

Thank you for sharing.
-Angad

[Avanthika]

glad you liked it.

[Surya pradha]

what you've written about is entirely true. being an indian myself, i have seen these thing happening around me. i hope this poem has a big impact. well written

[Avanthika]

thank you surya:)

[Briana O'Connor]

This is a heartfelt and bold statement. Very respectable to express your true beliefs. The world is often blind to the reality in front of them. We choose to ignore those suffering right before our eyes. Very well penned. Thank you for sharing.

[Avanthika]

the pleasure is all mine

[hardeep sabharwal]

U have wrote on social decay on our system, that s a good subject choice,
it is nice work here, raising so many questions

[Avanthika]

thanks hardeep , but i found that writing here alone will do no good.

[xDalliance]

Wow, that's a pretty strong piece. As Robin said, there are a few grammatical mistakes starting from the third paragraph. If you overlook them, this poem is REALLY good. I hope you do well ahead :)

[Avanthika]

thank you jharna , i am working on it :)

[Mazie]

this poem was very effective, very thought-provoking and very emotional and very true... Everywhere in the world issues like this arise, and it is terrible... You did very well, as a poet and as awriter trying to convey a very important message. Very well done

[Avanthika]

thank you Craziwriter ;)

[K Scott Smith]

Really great write here and I loved it.

[Avanthika]

glad you liked it Scott :)

[Lyan]

It's horrible the things that happen around the world. You want to stop every evil that goes on but unfortunately some things just cannot solve. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the matter.

[Avanthika]

glad you read it :)

[Stonz P.]

I'd not say anything different from what Christopher and Jamie have pointed out.
Rest, I am not very profound on such issues because it is not as if they are something new and with the amount of corruption that has bombarded over the country(and the world), I feel 'Ignorance is Bliss'. The world will go on, regardless of whether we face these issues or not. And just writing about it is not enough, in fact does nothing at all, therefore I have my prejudice against writing on such issues.
There are grammatical errors which you can look into.

Keep writing.

[Avanthika]

thanks stonz, i do agree with you and shall improve

[Stonz P.]

I hope you do.