Secret Report: Octember 95th

captive issues mysterious message

Early this morning, I overheard the female say, on her electronic communicator, that I was “alert and cooperating.”

I am now reading from my notes, which are surprisingly coherent.

It is 5:85 PM, Octember 95^th 2296�"oh, me goodness�"I don't even know what day it is!

The asteroid fallout is very light today. Intermittent junkyard sprinkles, mostly used cars and old telephone wires, have crashed into Rlenggt County in the last 16 days, and life is good, except, the sampling of females, slurp, slurp, is mixed, slow, and disappointing. Only one hit this afternoon.

This new wavelength girl is very demanding, but, her photo was nice, and, I suppose, she is just a little Italian. She says she's from Venice, and sells speedboats. Perhaps, we will have spaghetti, which I hear is a food Italian girls like, though perhaps the local cuisine is different. I'll do some research.

I hope to meet her in the booth tomorrow at 11 AM, as was her request.

She wanted something early, in “daylight.”

She claimed she was worried about sparks, or interference, something about the holodeck.

Her name is Glorista McPink, age 22, and says she has a nice figure. We'll see about that.

I'm writing this all down, as is recommended, in case I am killed.

She asked me to take her to Tuscany. I do not know where that is.

Reviews

[Imara]

For starters this is a very interesting idea and I want to see what happens to it. However it is more of a paragraph, or a story starter than it is an actual story. Because there is no issue/problem and that problem is never resolved. However you do hint at a bigger plot and I am very curious about that.

Second, you say the notes are very coherent and that is surprising. Why is it surprising? Who is this female? You see why you need to make this longer? There are a lot of unanswered questions that I'd really like to know the answer to.
Also I would redo the diary entry. The language is kind of confusing and it's hard to get a mental image. What I got from this is that we are in some futuristic world. It's written in half short hand and doesn't sound very much like a journal entry. However that might just be the character I don't know.
You do a great job setting up the beginnings of a plot, if you reword the diary a little and make it longer I would love for you to send me a read request for the updated version! Overall good job!