I Went to Yale & Harvard

just kidding--I know these are great schools

I went to Harvard & Yale. I'll tell you later about Harvard.

Recent visit to Yale: No restaurant or bar in hotel (even Vatican nun hotels have that).

$18 for parking in garage across street, windy, freezing cold. Need PHD to get car out of garage. No indoor pool, can’t order off menu for breakfast, $8.95 continental breakfast. Scary parking meters in New Haven, north pole weather. Horrific, tiny hallways in Yale buildings, worn down stairs, dinky seats in classrooms.

Recommendations:

Tear down old buildings (mostly stumpy phallic towers).

Build new ones that look like vaginas, about time they got equal time.

Nice new spacious buildings will have adequate free parking.

Any remaining buildings honoring fake famous nobodies; splash hopefully found newly discovered space age material on outside of phallic towers to deter crabs from crawling all over them in desperate attempt to avoid gas grills.

laser off barnacles from sides of buildings, or professors. Pave green space/lawns to make more free parking lots (multistory).

Rid harbor of pollution is # 1 recommendation.

Stench on shore grotesque,

green smoggy fog rolling in each morning,

barnacles and mussels working overtime to eat filth while North Korean Mexican drug-dealing diplomats pry insane clams from bloodstained mud to sell to east Asian dining halls.

lobsters on strike, many on life support, crabs escaped decades ago to crawl over phallic tower buildings. Fish now wear do rags, heavily tattooed, with piercings, while foreign girls in tight miniskirts lure unsuspecting undergrads with gratuitous, or under gratuitous, or ungrateful sex, or sox, or socks, to take back to China to have only one highly scrutinized child who will be yelled at repeatedly, then sent to Harvard.

Author's Note

remember, just joking; except for pollution.

Reviews

[JR Darewood]

I agree, there should be more vagina-buildings. Some say the Diamond Building in Chicago looks like a vagina, but I'm personally thinking something like a stadium only taller would be more evocative.