Shaman in the City - The Ayahuasca chapter part 1

I am writing different chapters to the novel in different orders and will think about putting them all together at the end. This is part one of the chapter on my Ayahuasca experience

I was a little cold but the heat from the fire was keeping most of the October night air from reaching me. We were just ten minutes away now from the start of the ceremony and my emotions were a rich blend of excitement and fear.

I'd used substances to alter my state of mind before of course but never before powerful hallucinogens. And this was no recreational thing either. I'd had to qualify to even be sitting here. I had been rigorously questioned about my past use of drugs and any medical conditions that I may have. I had been told not to eat meat for a week leading up to the ceremony and to fast for the two days leading up to that night of the full moon. I needed to prepare my body for what was now being called 'the medicine'. This was a sacred event and nothing to be taken lightly.

I had done my homework. I had been interested in Ayahuasca for a couple of years after watching a YouTube video about a pioneering psychiatrist who had been granted permission by the FDA in America to undertake clinical trials using dimethyltryptamine (DMT) to help patients with emotional and mental problems. At the end of the video all of the patients were interviewed and everyone of them spoke of fantastic healing experiences where they were given beautiful life changing insights into their problems and difficulties.

DMT was the psychoactive ingredient in the Ayahuasca brew, an ancient shamanic medicine used for centuries in South and Central America.

Donned in my white ceremonial outfit I stood talking with the 5 other participants around a large fire outside of a huge white tepee. My newish hippy girlfriend was there, another couple who I vaguely remembered talking to at a festival I had been at during the summer of that year. Johno the guy who's farm we were on and Luis the shaman. He was about forty-five, with long blonde dreadlocked hair, his eyes looked serene and peaceful and he spoke in a soft monk like tone. He indicated that we should all start making our way into the tepee, to get comfortable on the cushions around the fire and to feel relaxed.

Relaxed? I was in a state of almost uncontrollable excitement inter-twined with morbid fear. What if I completely freak out, go nuts and never return to normal? What if I die? It was too late now, no turning back I whispered to myself as I ducked into the tepee.

It was tardisly big inside, big, thick, bouncy cushions were laid out in a horse shoe shape and in the middle a small fire gently smouldered. I took of my shoes and sat down next to my girlfriend at the 4 o'clock position of the intimate circle. It was lovely and warm inside, the little fire had done its job well and the coziness of the canvas interior helped to soothe my nerves a bit.

Everybody now in place, Luis at 12 o'clock, the hippy couple from the festival at 8 and 10 and Johno sitting by the entrance at 6 o'clock, we sat absorbing the atmosphere and making final comfort adjustments.

I looked over to my girlfriend to my right. Sensing my apprehension she said softly 'you are in Mother Ayahuasca's house now, nothing can harm you' her green eyes glinting in the firelight.

It was her third ceremony and for me it was a huge comfort to be there with a seasoned pro. For weeks I had been bugging her to explain what it felt like, what the experience was like for her, she always gave the same vague but extremely intriguing answer.

"She holds you through everything" was all she would say. She spoke of the drug in a way I had never heard anybody speak of a substance before.

Ecstasy and cocaine had been a very chemical experience, you take it and the chemicals affect your body to induce feelings. With Ayahuasca she was talking about invoking a spirit, something outside of the your self. I thought it sounded beautiful and I could not wait to experience it.

Yet still I was nervous, she painted a beautiful loving experience yet my research had shown people speaking of intense ordeals, out of body experiences and a whole night of throwing up. I had watched a number of videos on the Internet with people saying such things as 'it was an 8 hour ordeal but it was worth it' and 'I'm glad I did it but I don't think I will do it again'. I said a silent 'no turning back' to myself and tried to become more present in the moment.

We did a few ohms to loosen ourselves up, I had been doing ohms in my yoga classes so I was not as self conscious as I thought I would be, then we sat silently for a few minutes again.

I began to feel overcome by the sacredness of the evening, how it was important to treat every moment with respect, this had been meticulously planned, the night was the night of the full moon, the location was carefully selected for its seclusion, we had all had eating restrictions to abide by, we were all wearing the stipulated ceremonial clothing and now we were about to start the ceremony. A new feeling of deep respect for all the people around me sank in. These were kind, nice people, all with their different reasons to be here and come together to enjoy this sacred moment and bond through mutual experiences.

Luis sounded a little gong to bring our attention back to him. His soft calm eyes looked saintly as they reflected the flicker of the flames. He mentioned that he was going to cleanse our auras, we were also each going to say an intention of what we intended to get from the ceremony, then we would be drinking the medicine. He told us that Johno was there to look after us and the fire as he was not going to be drinking the brew, he explained that there was a high likelihood that we would need to be sick and that we she not be afraid of this experience, to see it as purging all the negativity from your body. He said that we were welcome to leave the tepee at anytime but to ensure that we did not wander off while we were experiencing the affects.

After checking that we all understood he said a prayer to the spirit world asking them to guide and support him as the shaman of this ceremony. It was extremely important for him to hold the energy of the group and I sat in awe as I watched him very seriously get himself into the required frame of mind. He closed his eyes and repeated some mantras to himself for what seemed quite a long time. I was waiting patiently but inside I had reached the point where the anticipation was too much. I was afraid now, really I had no where to go now and the only way to end the fear was to drink the potion and see what happens... "How do I get myself into these situation?"I said mockingly to myself.

Author's Note

This is my first novel and I have a lot to learn about style etc so please feel free to let me know what you felt when reading this piece, part of a bigger story.