The Stars

The sky it's so beautiful at night

How the stars are splattered everywhere 

just like a splatter painting. 

The stars, I just want to be with them 

But so far.

They are bright, 

not bright enough to light the roads and fields below

Just like me 

I try to shine bright but only leaving a little sparkle to the crowd

So in the cold foggy air, the stars seem to still shine, 

making my tears glitter down my pale rounded cheek

making its way under and onto the black fleece coat

my short breathes pushing steam through the air. 

Breathing onto my hands is warm and dry, 

Rubbing my hands causing friction

I reach into my pocket what seems cold to the touch 

metal of course

clutching it makes my hands  numbing and my knuckles turn white 

just holding tightly, knowing that this is my decision.

I blink several sometimes to clear my thoughts and let the tears fall.

I open my blue eyes that are the color of the sky in the day.

I open my mouth that is pink and sticking together because dried lips

I whisper quiet enough it sounds like a little breath

I say " I'm Sorry, I couldn't handle this any other way."

So I took that silver piece of metal

Stuck it to my temple

there is no looking back

The touch is frozen to the touch.

I pull the trigger and let the bullet loose as 

it digs into my brain leaving a tunnel through my right temple to my left

red oozes out of my head and 

brain is splattered 

just like the stars

That is where I want to be